The Origins of the Pigs

Part 1: Island of Stone

Chapter 1:

Long ago, the Sky was quite low. If you stood on the top of Pig's Peak and stretched your hands up as high as they would go, you could touch the Sky. At that time, far on the Horizon, where the Sky was always especially low, there was a village. In that village, in a cave, there lived a white Angry Bird, maybe Mighty Eagle's ancestor.

This White Angry Bird was the biggest Angry Bird in that village, possibly the oldest Angry Bird in the world. She was so old she no longer remembered any other way of being. She lived all alone in her cave, for she had neither friend nor family left in this world. She had nowhere to go and no one to talk to. So all day long, she would putter around her cave, laying golden eggsteroids here and there and stacking them up into a huge pile that glinted majestically in the dying light of dusk.

One hot summer, the land was dry with thirst. There was a dry heat everywhere - on the trees, on the roofs of huts and houses, in bird's throats and eyes, even in the air. Fat Pig was in geosynchronous orbit around Angry Island at the time and detected an anomalous golden glow on what would be today known as Piggs Peak. He let off gas in a retrograde orientation and descended to investigate.

Entering the atmosphere at terrific speed, Fat Pig's hypersonic shock wave created so much disturbance on the Earth that huge dust clouds obscured sight of his landing target. Intense atmospheric turbulence started to disrupt his anti gravitic warp field and he started to lose control of his incredible Moon-sized bulk.

Fat Pig crashed 1,500km short of his objective creating the massive crater that would be today's Piglantic Ocean. Stuck in the choking dust, Fat Pig started to sneeze and sneeze, sending shock waves through the Earth accompanied by raging rainstorms that would not cease. The intense sneezing also released a lot of Fat Pig's interior gas, raising the level of the Earth's atmosphere to what is known today.

On the seventh day the sky was finally clear. White pillowy clouds soared at majestic altitudes over newly-formed mountain ranges and land masses surrounded by sparkling seas. Captain Bacon and Mister Pork finally repaired Fat Pig's integral warp core who, while undertaking the laborious task of achieving Earth escape velocity, vowed never to attempt planetary egg fall again. Only three of the golden eggs survived.

Credit: Rovio Pigineering

Chapter 2:

Shortly after, Fat Pig returned to the heavens, but his search wasn't over yet. As you may know, the birds live on an island, so Fat Pig cast a giant hook into the Piglantic Ocean, and pulled out an enormous lump of rock, soon to be known as Piggy Island. With his deity powers, Fat Pig filled the land with natural resources, such as iron and steel for bunkers and weapons, trees for general building, and stone for building reinforcements. Then, to complete Piggy Island, he created the pigs in an image of himself. He poured his intelligence, egg loving, porkyness, and goofiness into what made his pigs, well, pigs and started the first pig city on Piggy Island.

Soon, the pigs far surpassed the technological advances of the birds. The pigs made buildings, armor and swords for the military. But they were leaderless. Fat Pig saw the chaos in the pig community and decided to create an ultimate pig to lead his creations. Making the King Pig have all what his pigs had but without the flaws, he gave him added bulk to his size, a giant scepter to wield, and a crown to give him his identity. Oh, don't forget the extra arrogance.

As the first order of business, Fat Pig sent King Pig to earth and told him what he must do. "You must lead the pigs and have them accept you as their own. But, there's another island. One populated not by us, but by savage angry birds! You must destroy them, but most importantly; they have a treasure, golden eggs, that lay in piles inside a cave. Find them, and bring them to me."