Publicly Journaling My Experience With Anxiety, Depression, & Selfworth

The Piano Player & The Trumpet Player

So I was at music the other day and my teacher had noticed how I have a habit of tensing up whenever I make a mistake when singing and how my face is just compete and utter disgust at the sound of my mistake. So he told me a story about a real event but since this was yesterday I can recite it word for word however I can kind of explain the events.

So a trumpet player and a piano player are doing a gig. When they're up the piano player makes a mistake on the piano and starts thinking something like, "Oh shit, I just fucked everything up and we're totally screwed." However, the trumpet player goes with the piano player's mistake and just takes it and runs with it like the absolute mad lad that he is. After a roaring round of applause and a closing curtain the piano play goes up to the trumpet play and thanks him for saving his butt on stage. The trumpet player says something along the lines of, "We're not here to judge the notes, we're here to play them and the audience is here to judge the music."

You see this story reminds me that I'm not supposed to harshly criticize everything I do. Hell, I criticize my singing, my smarts, my physical features, my personality. It's so self damaging for both my mental and physical well being. My mind is it's own judge and jury but my mind shouldn't be. My mind should only be the judge, the person that tells me what I am to do, and the jury is the people I surround myself with. I might mess up sometimes on stage or in other life situations but if I keep going maybe no one will notice. And even if I fucked up maybe they'll still think I did a good job with whatever.