Into You

Part 2

I don't know what death feels like, we had just met, you were so happy. But everything changed. Your happy and loud self had turned into a quiet and more evident depressed person, your inner self came out of his shell. Your grandma died, and that's like something just out there to put and say, but she passed away and you were hurt. I never knew what it was, of course, I have a late uncle, but he passed when I was barely out of the womb. I never knew him but have always felt a connection to him in a way.

But still, that doesn't top an actual connection, from an infant to an adult, from bad days to good days and sick days to healthy days. 

I remember you giving us, Caleb, Louis and I a warning of how you'd be. 

By then we had befriended Louis and we had put our fingerprints on each other's phones cause we just wanted to. I wanted to. I don't know about you but I loved that idea of our phones with our fingerprints, so much that the next part will be mentioned after this.

I was curious, not accidental, which will make you a bit bothered but I went through your text messages and saw your texts, I don't know why I had clicked on her contact name, but I did. I remember the conversation of you asking her for a favor and she had said yes,

You sent her a picture of a white with a swirl and information where your grandma's funeral would be. I remember her saying she'd go and you saying thank you. I remember feeling my heart shatter and looking up at you and quickly taking it off and playing it as nothing, I remember waiting for an invitation, waiting and waiting til you'd ask. 

Nothing.

That day I remember you felt like you couldn't take it I wanted so badly to be there with you. I remember saying I'd bother you every hour so you didn't feel so alone, I'd send you Selena Gomez pictures and say how much you mattered to me, to us, I said so you wouldn't think I liked you, hah. 

I kept remembering when I'd bring food to school for both of us when we'd have car rides to and from school home because you live in the neighbor street from where I live. I remembered from our highs and our non-existent lows, which I imagined that day to be our lowest. 

I couldn't remember when the last time I saw you happy was. I remember that night you called me,  of all people, you called me. I was happy and scared cause I didn't know how to talk to you. I truly didn't, I was scared to say something I wasn't aware that would hurt you. I was on my way home from Glendale, I still remember. 

You didn't mention her, you were being careful too. 

That day we talked, and after that, it was a blur.

But I never forgot when you wore your grandma's bracelet. 

That day, when you couldn't find it on you or in the car, I said let's go back home to find it and you were so set that you had it on you, but I kept saying it was home. You pushed me away and we went our separate ways that day.

By then I had met him. I didn't love him or had feelings for him but I remember calling him and being angry and in tears because I had never seen you like that. I remember feeling anger and thinking I'd give you the silent treatment. I remember thinking it would be easier getting feelings for someone else. 

My first class went by and again, he and I were talking. You were already the gym and I was outside avoiding going in there before knowing you were there. Caleb being team us rather than team other guy and me, he took my phone away from me and hung up on him which I yelled at him for but he said you were crying and that you needed to see me, I remember returning him the phone call and apologizing and then going to you after telling him that you needed me. I went towards the gym and it broke me seeing you crying. I remember going up to you and hugging you and saying you didn't deserve the sadness you were going through.

And there I saw, and I mean really saw your eyes. 

They were a soft brown, a brown I had seen in the distance but never super close. I could feel my breathing slow down and I know you knew you had those same notices in my face cause when I saw you, your expression changed from broken to hurt 

and I kissed your cheek. 

I kissed your cheek to which you pulled on my arm and pulled my sleeve back and kissed the back of my forearm.