The day bleeds into nightfall

'That was then and this is now'

Friday December 25th, 2037

Usually, Maddie and Ruby were the first ones up on Christmas day. They would wake their parents up, at some ungodly hour, and they would go and have their breakfast, a pain au chocolate. Today there is one of that, had her phone not read that it was Christmas day, she wouldn't have known.

She's the first one awake, there isn't any tree, no presents under the non-existent tree. None of them wanted the tree up, decorating it felt wrong without Ruby. Joe would have let them have it up, but they didn't want too. The Christmas lights on the way to school was enough. Today would be like every other day, they would keep themselves to themselves. Dianne was starting to come around, she still wasn't really communicating with the kids. Between her and Joe, however, something was happening. She couldn't describe it, but something was there.

Joe woke the kids up, telling them to come to the living room. He had decided he couldn't let them not have presents, he had tried. He had tried to persuade Dianne to help him, every time he was shut down, anything that mentions the kids she refuses to even broach the subject. He gets she's hurting, but she's pushing everyone away. For the moment, they are sharing a bed. Joe isn't sure what is going to happen, they are still having sex. Most of their exchanges is from the moaning exchanges from sex, and some small talk. He hadn't even bothered asking about the Christmas tree, he was going to surprise the kids with a small tree on Christmas day, it was unlikely that Dianne would even leave their bedroom, she wouldn't notice when he put it up on Christmas eve, once Maddie and Theo were in bed. They were going to Graham's, Joe just hadn't told the pair of them. Dianne had point blank refused to come, when he brought it up. He hadn't expected anything less, if he was being honest.

The communication is breaking down, the idea of not having Ruby at Christmas, a time for family, was taking its toll on everyone, but particularly Dianne. He got that, he got that she was hurting, that she was suffering. He wants to help, he wants to hold her at night when she's crying. He's tried that, but she turns away, crying into her pillow. Joe isn't going to do anything, it's Ruby she wants, not him, not Theo and definitely not Maddie.

Had she thought about it for a moment, she would see the toll it's taking on the family, particularly her youngest daughter. She can't help it, Maddie is a stark reminder of Ruby. She can't help it, but she is. She knew that, if she ever came out of this spiral, she would never forgive herself. She would have realised that, in these months, she had lost not one, but two, daughters. She hadn't noticed Maddie changing, these changes were irreversible.

No one would deny it, Maddie was trouble. She was the naughty one, the one who always had the bad report, the one branded lazy. She was the one who would get sent home, she would miss out on golden time because she was naughty, or she got under four in her spelling test.

If Dianne had noticed a bit more, she would know that her daughter was dyslexic. She would know that the school had approached Joe in October, after a routine screening for year elevens. She would realise that she was struggling in school, but she didn't care enough. She would kick herself when she finds out over a year later, when their family of four would be a family of five once again.

She would find out when Theo came back from university, after a couple of drinks. When Theo and Maddie finally caved about the fight with their cousin, she had been trying for months to get it out of them, who knew all it would take was a few drinks? She would learn that they fought because Ella called Maddie thick, amongst other things. They would learn that Ella, and to some degree Ava, was taunting the young girl telling her she was thick, an already sensitive subject.

Something inside of Maddie would flip, a sudden wave of aggression, like switching on a light-bulb. It wasn't the comment, it was the build-up of everything. A conflict of emotions, the fact hurt from Dianne ignoring her, the grief from Ruby and then the feeling of uncertainty when Dianne suddenly was better. She was glad that her mum was back to being normal, but there was an apprehension. Dianne wouldn't notice, or maybe she would but she chose not to notice it, that it took years for her to finally be able to trust her, her daughter was an actually a good actor, it was only after she moved out that things would change again.