The day bleeds into nightfall

'I'll always remember us this way'

Tuesday January 12th, 2038.

Joe didn't know what to-do, he was at a loss. He wanted to be considerate of her feelings, but this was the third time since the start of the year. He knew the school was considerate, far more considerate than they need to be, but there was only so many times he could keep going over this. It was the same story, she got wound up by someone and then she would get in trouble. He was sick of having to go to the school, he was sick of having to take the abuse she shouted at him when he questioned it. He knew she couldn't blame it on Ruby forever, she had to take some responsibility. She had to learn that she can't keep walking out of lessons and getting into fights. Grief was a strange process, it was different for everyone. Dianne had, just about, gone back to work. After six months off, Joe had given her a pep-talk and she had agreed to go back. It wasn't about the money, it was because she needed to face reality and, to Joe, the first step of that was going back to work.

She was angry at him, having moved him into the spare bedroom, she wasn't having him near her. She was like a petulant child, and he already had one of those in the form of Maddie. He debated whether he should tell Dianne about this suspension, it wasn't like she knew about the other two. In another life, she would have yelled at her, she would have told her off. She would know what to-do, Joe just didn't know what would happen if he told her, she was already very fragile.

She had mentioned the fact she wanted a divorce since the day she went back to work, he didn't know what happened, but she kept telling him she wanted a divorce. At first, he thought she was joking, right now he didn't know. He could no longer see the line between the humour and reality. When questioned by the kids, he told them she was just joking, playing it off with the "you know how your mum is", the same line he used when she had been in a strop, biting off one of their heads. He didn't know who he was trying to convince, though, was it the kids? Or was it him?

This didn't help, as he observed his daughter in the kitchen, as she wandered around the kitchen looking for a glass, before sliding back to the tap on the other end of the room. For the first time, he noted how she looked. He had been so caught up in his grief, trying to keep some sort of normality for them, that he hadn't been able to look at his children properly.

She was thinner, not that it was a good thing. She was thin before, now she looked ill. Her near perfect hair was a mess, something that seven months ago would seem absurd. She was paler than before, besides the greeny-blue bruise that was rearing its ugly head. He can't help but he drawn to it, the red rim around it suggests that it hasn't fully formed yet. It looks painful, but that is beside the point. It had been utterly avoidable, she could have chosen to back down, yet they are in this position. Again.

'You can't keep fighting Maddie.' He watches her jump, not realising that her dad was there. 'I'm serious Matilda. I don't know what to-do.' He watches as she shrugs, taking a sip of water. 'We can't keep getting into this position.'

'I didn't hit her.' He nods, he knows all this. It was a combination of things, the swearing, the bad behaviour, the school decide that it was better if she had a few days to "cool off." What it was, was the school being understanding and trying not to give her a third suspension, given the circumstances.

'You have to stop though.' She shrugs, not really giving a damn. She was naughty, but this couldn't be passed off as naughtiness. Maybe if it was, he could deal with it. He knew this wasn't over Ruby, this was over Dianne. He was failing, yet again, as a parent because he couldn't convince his wife that she needed to spend time with her desperately unhappy children.

Maybe she thought that, because they were older, they understood her grief. In reality, he couldn't get his head around it, after losing Ruby he wanted to keep them close. Joe wanted to hold them and never let them go. Instead, he knew that he had to keep a considerable distance, he had to tread the fine line between smothering and neglecting them. He couldn't expect their two teenagers to even begin to understand it, and it must seem like they are getting a double whammy of loss as they have all but lost their mum.