Simon's Mindless Memories

20 ; Dreams

Normally, I don't dream. I almost never dream anymore, and I haven't for a few years, save occasional times I slept long and well. But I have been dreaming quite frequently lately.

Last night I had a dream that I was in the mental hospital with my trans friend, Matt. Some random kids were there and a couple faces from my school showed up. Basically, there were some emotional moments, and I cried in the dream along with some other people. Matty snickered at me each time, despite crying himself several times.

Him and I have an odd relationship to be honest. We're both really open at random times, but closed off around each other most of the other time. He really only hangs out with me because I'm the only other out trans guy at school (there's one other but he's questioning and also moving soon).

I used to have the biggest crush on him. I could tell from my first day of freshman year that I liked him. He's funny, cunning, handsome, and honestly (don't tell him I said this or he will end me) is a really good guy. He's also just hot buuuuut that's fucking gay and I'm not gay for him anymore because he has a girlfriend who he's prolly gonna bang at prom and he wouldn't date me anyway because we're bros and bros would NEVER.

He's like. So handsome. He's so cool and charming. When we hang out, and of course I don't mean to, sometimes I think about just leaning into the space between shotgun and the driver's seat and kissing his stupid face. It's an entertaining thought.

"What the fuck are you-" I'd kiss him before he could finish his sentance. Then I'd pull away, smirking, and say,

"I just wanted to see how you'd react."

And maybe he'd blush, and playfully hit me, or maybe he'd really slap me. Make me get out of his car and never talk to me again. Which I would certainly cry over, nonetheless it would be kinda worth it for getting to kiss that stupid face!

Ahhh. I think I'm getting a crush on him because we're growing closer. I love him a lot because he's my friend, and he's amazing. Course, if he ever read this, we'd be over. And I would just be depressed again if so.

But I just don't know what to do with myself. And he's a junior and soon to be senior, so it's gonna be even harder to spend time with him and ahhhh!

ugh. crushes.

I may be getting involved with a certain cutie again.. (Mackeyyyy) and I'm all uwus for him as well.

ah. that's all I guess. no homo at all. as Dani said, NSFW- no Simon, fuck women.

-simm