There was no denying Gerard's depression. He never left the apartment anymore. His hair was collecting grease by the hour. He hardly left his bed long enough for me to change the sheets, or for him to change his clothes. I think he'd been wearing that set of pajamas for about a week straight, day and night. It was really time for me to step in.
"Gee?" I slowly opened the door to our bedroom, where I saw a barely stirring mass under the comforter. A little piece of stringy black hair was poking out from the top. I smiled a little and knelt down by the bed. "Baby, you wanna get up?"
The blanket shifted a little more to expose Gerard's eyes and nose. "Not particularly." His response came slightly muffled. "Please, I don't want you to see me like this."
"It's a little late for that isn't it?" I stroked his hair gently. "We live together now sweetie. I've already seen you."
"Whatever." He grumbled.
"Will you at least take a shower?" I started slowly peeling back the comforter.
"Babe, I'm just so tired." Gee closed his eyes and turned his head away from my eyes. "It's just so hard to get up right now."
"I know Baby, I've been through the same thing." I placed one hand on his chest and rubbed little circles with my thumb. "I know you're tired. And I know it takes lots of energy to do little things. But you'll feel better after you get up for a little bit. You're gonna be exhausted when you're done, but that's okay. You can go right back to sleep when you're done, but you'll be able to go back to bed proud that you could get out of bed in the first place."
Smiling, I moved my hands to cup his face and look into those beautiful eyes he has. He smiled back at me for the first time in a week, and I thought I was going to tear up. No no, Y/n, you've got to stay strong right now. I kissed his forhead and searched for something to say. "Remember what your therapist said about isolating yourself only making things worse?"
"Yeah..." He sounded dejected. "But when I'm done I can go back to bed?"
"Mmhm."
"Okay." His place getting out of bed was slow, but I was happy to see him choosing to even get out of bed. Once he was standing, Gerard grabbed my hand and walked behind me to the bathroom. Once there, I pulled the toilet cover down and sat him on top. I gave him a little hug before turning on the tub faucet, making sure it wasn't too hot for him.
"Wait there, I'll be right back, okay?" I didn't receive a response, but it wasn't like he was going to move anywhere anyway. I grabbed a clean set of clothes and changed the sheets as fast as I could. When I returned, Gerard was just as I had left him. "Hey baby, I'm back. Miss me?"
"Always." He giggled tiredly.
"Of course you did," I rifled through the drawers until I found my brush and a bottle of hair detangler. "I'm just gonna brush your hair, is that okay?"
"Mmmhmm," He seemed more eager to have his hair brushed. I started at the bottom of his hair, trying my best to be gentle when undoing the many knots and tangles. His hair, being a little longer than most guys', was matted by the nape from so long spent in bed without a thorough brushing.
I took special care with the rat's nest on the underside of his hair, using a generous amount of detangler and going slowly with the comb, trying to minimize any split ends or breakage. There was a little twinge in my heart every time Gerard flinched at a particularly hard pull of his hair. It absolutely broke my heart to see the state he had gotten to. It wasn't his fault, though. Not his fault that his brain wouldn't let him get out of bed.
Gerard started humming a tune I didn't recognize while I did a final brush through of his hair. "That's a nice song. Did you write it?"
"Mm-hmm." He grabbed one of my hands and started playing with my fingers.
"When..when did you write it?" I said, petting his hair.
"Just now." He sighed a little. "There aren't any lyrics, but I think words will go nicely, don't you?"
"Yes, I do think so." I smiled. "I think the tub is ready, so if you want to hop in..."
Gerard just grumbled a little bit and started pulling off his pants. Once that was done, I pulled his shirt off for him while he lifted his arms up. He stood up and pulled his boxers off, then went and sat in the tub. He looked back at me with half-lidded eyes. "Will you help?"
I smiled and licked up his shed clothing. "Yep, I'm just going to fold these up okay?"
"Okay." He turned back and started reading the directions on the shampoo bottle. "It says rinse and repeat, but I don't think anyone's ever done that before." He looked up with a curious smile.
"They're just trying to get you to buy more shampoo, that's all." I laughed, setting the clothes on the toilet seat. "Alright, let's do this sweetie."
I kneeled down behind the tub, taking the bottle from Gerard. I squeezed a small amount on to my hand and applied it to his hair, making sure to lather well. He hummed, feeling my fingers work against his scalp. Soon he had to be rinsed, and I used a cup filled with bathwater to do so. The conditioner was the same routine, I just stopped to kiss him every so often.
"I'm sorry." He said abruptly.
"What?" I pulled my hands away. "What are you sorry about Geebee?"
"I'm sorry you have to deal with me." He explained. "I'm sorry that I'm so pathetic to look at. I'm sorry you have to drag my ass out of bed and bathe me like this." He looked so disparaged and hopeless like this. His eyes seemed almost sunken in as he looked at me.
"Gerard," I took his face in my hands. "You don't have to be sorry. If I have to wash you a hundred times, I'll do it if it means you'll get better. That's why I'm here; I know you're going to make it through this, and until then, I'm not going anywhere."
Gerard nodded a little and the corners of his mouth quirked up into a little smile. "I love you Y/n." He said quietly.
"I love you too Gee."
Hey Beanie Babies! Weird, this was actually the first oneshot I ever started working on, but it was taking me forever, so I was finally like, I need to do something else, cuz this is dragging me down. But over 1000 words, later I finally relented; this is (hopefully) this oneahot's final form. <3 Dizzy S.
