Book 1: Youth of Delarn

Chapter 5: To Feed

After she woke up, Delarn was hungry. She knew she could stay hidden, but doubted she would find food that way. It was scary finding herself out on the open street. When she first fled from home, she had hardly thought about it, but now it occurred to her that her father was the key thing keeping her safe and cared for, and now he was gone. There was nothing stopping someone from trying to hurt her. She wanted to go back to see if there was any food left, but was afraid to. What if the people who killed her father or looters were waiting for her?

She went to the shop, back to the shopkeeper, hoping that her infatuation with her father meant she might be sympathetic. She crept in, but the woman almost immediately glared at her, and this was worse than the blank or ignorant stares of the rest. Her lips puckered in disgust and her words dripped contempt as she said, "What are you doing here? Get out of here!"

"Please, I'm hungry," Delarn breathed, her eyes filling with tears and cheeks red. She was sure that even if the woman didn't want to help her, her father must still have credit here. She didn't believe it would just go away once he died. "I'm hungry."

She seemed to gain no sympathy, and it was apparent. Her frown grew deeper and angrier as she lifted her broom, as if to chase her away like she was no better than a stray dog. Her eyes softened incrementally when she saw her flinch, but she wasn't willing to back down. "Get away from here right now. You're tainted. If they get a whiff of you, they'll send someone to kill you and anyone harboring you, and that'll be it. Never come back here." She looked away, and maybe it was to hide her shame, but her shoulders were stiff and unyielding. After, she turned to ignore her.

Delarn continued to hang around and watch her as she worked. She gave her a disdainful look every so often. It was easy to imagine she didn't think she could see it. She had been the first person to let Izara know Delarn was blind, so it was easy to imagine so, but she could feel it stinging like nettles. The woman then tossed something to her, and Delarn skittered back. It would be easy to imagine her throwing a stone at her, but it was a bag of food.

"Take it and don't say I didn't pay back what I owed you," the shopkeeper told her, glaring down her nose at her. She still held her broom as if it was the only thing protecting her from the little girl.

"Thank you," she blurted after snatching it up before running away. Now that she had what she needed, she didn't want to hear what other hurtful things the woman could do or say to her. She didn't want to hear how much less she was worth in a world where her father wasn't. The shop keeper had filled the bag with dried meat and bread, and Delarn found pieces of candy at the bottom.

She was looking for a safe place to eat and ration it. Really, she just wanted to eat it all at once, but that didn't feel smart. She couldn't stop herself from eating most of the bread while she was walking. There wasn't as much as she thought.

She didn't expect to run into Solene. It hadn't occurred to her they would still be around. A part of her had reasoned that she was now living in a world without friends, so seeing one came as a shock and she didn't know what to say to him, her hand still in the bag.

"There you are," he said. "I heard what happened." Before she knew what was happening, he was wrapping his arms around her. She hadn't expected it, but was oddly grateful. He looked at the bag in her hand and said, "What's in there?"

She then noticed he wasn't alone, and another boy was with him—Bargas. He rarely spent time with them and only seemed to hang out with Solene when it was the two of them. She didn't like the way he smelled, and James had mentioned he was annoying once, but before now she had considered him harmless.

"It's just—the last of my food," she answered. She didn't know what else to say. She wouldn't lie about it. "You won't ignore me like everyone else?"