Highway to Thirty

becky2442

Caution: If you easily get offended, can't take a joke and have a very clean & sane mind... don't read this. To the rest, you may proceed.

Disclaimer: Basically everything in this letter is meant to be humorous and taken with a grain of salt... or anything smaller. I should probably also mention that i'm being dramatic af in this. That is all.

Yo yo yo Oli ma boii!!! ←had too much fun writing that hehe

So right off the bat, i'm feeling a bit awkward writing this (cause I ain't never did this before, no), but I pressured too many people into doing this with me so here I am. I might low-key delete that who knows... Anyways first off, I want to wish you the Happiest of Birthdays!!!!! I hope your day(or when you celebrate) is filled with much laughter, a lot of food, love from your family and friends. Oooh and pussy that makes you come fast like 9-1-1 in white neighbourhoods. (*Try* to be funny:✔) I've tried writing this part so many times, but how can I even try to convey my feelings of gratitude in words to someone such as you who has such a way with them(...) yeah that was corny as fuck but it's true. Anyways I've struggled writing this because you've done so much for me in such a short period of time, in ways that you would not even comprehend, and that I am definitely not getting into because the point is to make you smile not cry hehe. So I thank you for that, truly. (Stroke his ego:✔) I've decided to compile a list or reasons as of why our dear dear Oli shouldn't leave us, but also reasons why we love him so so so much, even when you get riled up. ( Make an awkward transition: ✔)

Here's 10 reasons why you shouldn't leave wattpad, & or rather your amazing wall permanently ! (Catchy title...sorta?:✔)

1. No pressure or anything but if you leave the wall & or stop writing, men everywhere will permanently suffer of blue balls. Now you may be wondering, how exactly did Becky come to this logic. Yes, (I) referred to myself in the third person. (Be cringy:✔) Well it's quite simple really and it goes like this. If you stop writing and or stop being present on your wall then little by little, girls/women from your wall will become dry as fuck from missing you and there would be no fucking sideways, or back ways or salsa ways. There would be no ways on the dick. What a sad thought.

2. Cats and dogs everywhere will become moody. This one is quite forward. Pets can often sense your emotions which is (really) cool. But essentially, moody owner= moody pet. And animals are so cute.

3. So, like many people here on wattpad, I read a lot. And reading as much as I do makes it so that I don't annoy my brother as much as I could. I'm sure he (appreciate)s you for it. But the less time you spend on the wall and writing/posting, the more time i spend annoying Poopy. Which I guess could count for bonding time?... I don't know if he'd see it that way though.

4. A lot of tears cause we all love (you) & would deeply miss you. Pretty self explanatory so moving on.

5. You would probably become a lot( like a lot) more sane, but that's no fun. Plus I'm sure you'd miss our craziness a bunch too, and why deny yourself of that.

6. We would probably become a lot dumber. The amount of amazing facts, awareness post (and) news from all around the world I've read on this wall from you and everyone else is honestly making me seem very smart and intellectual. (I'm) not even kidding.

7. We'd miss hearing about your food poisoning stories which, makes me feel (very thankful) for my cooking skills by the way. I know, good for me.

8. We'd even miss you annoying us with baby shark, sort of.

9. Did I mention we would really really miss your everyday presence & how much we love you. Because po we really do. I'm grateful (to God) for you.