We Lost It

Chapter 22

Now let me tell ya. That used dildo is still sitting on my floor. It fell off my bed when Robin and I launched ourselves away from it in disgust, and NO ONE dared touch it to remove it. Not even mother, who could be just as terrifying as grandmother. Grandmother even left it be, but that was just to gross us out more. Robin and I sat on my bed once more, after the blankets had been washed. Twice. 

"Please tell me your grandmother doesn't have one of those," I sighed, motioning towards the dick on the ground.

"Unfortunately she has three." He shook his head, "Why?"

"I invited her for grandmother's birthday in two weeks." I responded.

"Fantastic."

"They're best friends Robin." I watched him lay down, his arms under his head for comfort. 

I moved and sat on his stomach, my back leaning against my wall. I sighed and slumped my shoulders in an attempt to relax. Robin put his hand on my thigh and adjusted the pillow under his head. We sat in comfortable silence until mother knocked on the door that sat slightly open.

"Hey momma." I smiled.

"Robin, now I know your hand isn't on my daughter's thigh," mother warned.

"No ma'am." He removed his hand quickly, putting his arm back under his head.

"Good boy," she nodded, "now do you know what you were almost named?"

"Why?"

"Nevermind why, just answer the question." She snapped.

"Wasn't it Marigold or something?" I responded.

"Magnolia," she corrected, "we almost named you Magnolia."

"Grandmother's favorite flower, right?" I asked.

"Yes,"

"The hell is a Magnolia?" Robin asked.

"You don't know what a magnolia is?"

"I'm sure I've seen one. I just probably never cared enough to take note of its name." He shrugged.

"Magnolia Olga Stoica doesn't exactly have a ring to it." I smiled.

"But the name may yet run in the family."

***

Grandmother's birthday prep was HECTIC. I mean HECTIC. We hadn't even accumulated all of the guests. Grandma and Grandpa Iagar refuse to attend because Grandmother Stoica is, and I quote: a drunk, psychotic, insufferable hag.

Robin sat on a bar stool, his head in his hands as he rubbed his temples in an attempt to sooth his growing headache. He had driven his grandmother in from the airport two hours ago, and oh boy.

I've never seen two elderly women so damn drunk in my 23 years of life. They sat on the couch, and everyone was waiting for a game of one on one strip poker to begin. Marnie was safe in her room while Estara and Zana sat together on the couch, playing some sort of finger tapping game.

Emil stood silently in the room, his gaze protectively set towards Estara. Finn and Mathias were helping in the kitchen, one of the highest respects in their pack. For high alphas to cook for an elder.

But unfortunately.

They can't cook to save their lives.

The sudden pop of a Champaign bottle caused my heart to nearly pack it's bags and leap out of my chest. I spun around and looked at Robin and I's grandmothers.

His held the alcohol, mine held the bras. Both of theirs, and she waggled her brows at us before waddling out of the room. Robin let his head slam against the counter at the sight, causing even mother to wince at the sound.

"You alright love?" I sat next to him.

"Mhm, 'm fine,"

"Darling boy your skill sounded like it crunched." Mother raised an eyebrow as she set the cakes on the counter one by one.

"Felt like it," he mumbled.

"He's tired," I kissed his hair before going to yell at Grandmother for peeking at her gifts.

"Grandmother!"

She jumped and dropped the small intricately wrapped gift back into its place. She spun to face me, her FULL glass of wine sloshing out onto her hand.

"Well damn you," she narrowed her eyes, "ya made me spill my drink."

"You'll hardly miss it mother." Father strode by.

"Bitch I haven't even gotten a happy birthday from you." Grandmother said to her son.

Father did nothing but roll his eyes.

"Run daddy-o." I snorted.

"Where the fuck is my lighter?" Grandmother questioned as she patted down her body with her free hand.

"Oh please borrow mine my love." Mrs. Brigette handed her the flame maker.

"Thank you my wonderful woman."

"Run dad!" Estara called from the other room.

"Stay put I wanna see this!" Zana screamed.

"What am I missing?" Lola ran in, cupcake frosting smeared up her cheek.

"Fire is about to be set to dad." I began to walk away.

"CAN I HELP?" She gasped.

"Do you have a lighter?" Grandmother responded.

Lola shoved her hand into her bra and pulled the small lighter out from under her tit, "Yes!"

"Then of course!"

"No one is setting fire in my house dammit!" Mother screamed, "There is a back yard for that!"

"Run dad!" Estara and I laughed again.

***

"PRESENTS!" Grandmother cheered as she plopped herself in her plush chair.

She patted her lap and held out her hands as if to say 'now you ungrateful pests!'. Mother laughed and placed the first box in her lap, and rolled her eyes when she tore into it like a five year old child.

The gifts went as followed:

A bottle of perfume from Romania, gifted by mother.

A pearl necklace from father.

A magnolia sapling from Estara.

A notebook from Zana.

A golden dildo and new nipple clamps from Mrs. Brigette.

A painting from Mathias.

A bracelet from Robin.

A cook book from Finn.

A flower pot from Emil.

A new gown from Lola.

A lovely lipgloss from Mia.

Hugs and cuddles from Marnie.

A hand made drawing from Gerda.

A bag of candy dicks from Mrs. Brigette.

And seven bottles of assorted alcohol from Alice.

She was so pleased. Way too pleased. Let's just say she threw a hand full of colorful dicks into her mouth and looked my father dead in the face as she swallowed them all. He left after that. Back to his room, done with his mother, but who could blame him?

"Nicoleta I haven't gotten a gift from you,"

"Haven't you though?" I leaned my head on Robin's shoulder from where we sat on the couch.

"Listen here you stingy bitch," grandmother stood up, "I'm old, give me shit."

"You'll get my gift in about nine months when I shove it out of my vagina." I rolled my eyes.

Grandmother hit the ground at the same time mother did. Maybe I should have made sure they were sitting down.