ACT ONE
INT. RENTAL CAR - DAY
CHEF HAS ARRIVED IN BARI ITALY. WALKS THROUGH AIRPORT, GOES TO RENTAL CAR COUNTER, GETS HIS CAR. WALKS OUTSIDE TO THE RENTAL CAR LOT, FINDS HIS CAR. TALKING TO HIMSELF.
CHEF
Okay, I have 90 minutes before Catalina arrives. Hmmmmmm, nice car. Now to set up the GPS.
(laughs)
How do I change it to English?
AFTER 30 MINUTES OF TRYING TO DO IT ALONE. CHEF OPENS THE GLOVE BOX AND PULLS OUT THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
CHEF (CONT'D)
Ah, hell.
(laughs)
That's all? It's that damn easy?
(laughs)
I got this.
CHEF PLUGS IN CURRENT POSITION AND AWAY POSITION. HE TEXT THE RESORT.
CHEF
(text to the Resort)
Pierre, made it. Waiting on Catalina be there soon.
PIERRE
Good to hear from you my Friend. See you here soon.
CATALINA ARRIVES.
CHEF
(standing with his arms wide open and smiling, he starts calling out Christina Aguilera over here)
Christina A., Christina Aguilera over here.
(people start turning to see Christina Aguilera)
CATALINA
I'm coming my Darling.
(laughs)
SHE RUNS TO CHEF AND JUMPS IN HIS ARMS. THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER, LAUGH, THEN KISS.
CATALINA
Driver be a Darling and get my bags.
THEY LAUGH
CHEF
Yes, your Royalness. Doing it now.
THEY LAUGH
CHEF
Welcome to Italy Babe. Hope your flight was uneventful. The car is this way. You need anything? We have an hour to the Resort.
CATALINA
Babe, I want to try the limoncello. You said I would get one when I arrived. Other than that, I don't need anything.
CHEF
Oh, the limoncello I'm stopping on the way there. This guy on the side of the road has the BEST limoncello's.
CATALINA
You must have found him last time when you came alone? Hope yall had a great time.
THEY LAUGH
CHEF
Babe ... I invited you.
(laughs)
My Dear the car is this way.
HE GRABS HER BAGS; SHE PUTS HER ARM AROUND HIS AND THEY LEAVE THE AIRPORT TERMINAL FOR THE RENTAL CAR PARKING LOT. HE PUTS HER LUGGAGE IN THE TRUNK, WALKS OVER AND OPENS HER DOOR, HE STOPS HER, SHE TURNS AND THEY KISS. SHE ENTERS THE VEHICLE.
THEY GET ON THE INTERSTATE AND DRIVE FOR 40 MILES, THEY EXIT AND STOP IN FRONT OF AN OUTDOOR LIMONCELLO STAND. THEY GET OUT.
CHEF
Andrea, hello my Brother.
ANDREA
Chef, welcome back mio/my Fratello/Brother!
(he comes to Chef and they hug)
CHEF
Andrea this is Signora/Ms. Catalina and she wants one of your "World Famous" limoncellos.
YOU ARE READING
"The Vacation" | The Barley Normal Life
AvventuraA Nudist Chef before leaving Iraq and headed home, will be taking his last vacation to Italy. Vacation to a full nudist resort. What could go wrong?
