quintessential [nomin]

seven

[Donghyuck] 5:46 pm. Saturday.

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"Lee Donghyuck, I am in love with you."

And it's like time has stopped. My brain ceases functioning, and I stand there frozen in shock. My vision goes fuzzy and the sound of white noise escalates in my ear drums. I can't fathom what the figure in front of me has just uttered out of his beautiful lips.

He... he loves me?

"What the fuck," is all I can say. 

"I love you. I've been in love with you since the day you dared me to climb that stupid tree, and I fell and you took care of my like I was the most precious thing in the world. But I couldn't tell you because I was too fucking scared," Mark says.

The firmness of his declaration is what scares me the most. He seems so sure of himself that I can't help but believe him, even though I know I shouldn't. Mark must see me struggling, because he keeps talking.

"I love you and I've held it inside for too long. I was too scared of loosing you as a friend, too scared of rejection that I decided I would never tell you. But earlier today when you told me how you feel, all I could do was stare at you, because finally, finally, I had a chance." I've already done a fair share of crying today, however I find myself tearing up again. 

"Why didn't you tell me Mark, my god, I've been pining after you for years and you made absolutely no moves. We could've figured this all out earlier without all of the heartbreak," I huff, leaning back against the wall in frustration and bewilderment.

"You're right, you know. We could've easily avoided all of this. But the reality is that I wasn't sure about everything. I didn't know if I was actually gay, or if I really liked you more than a friend. I was also so scared beyond thought about what my parents would say if I told them I felt this way for a boy." He looks at me.

"They've always set up this perfect image of what kind of family I was supposed to have when I grew up. The thought of dating someone other than a girl was never in the question. I didn't want them no never let you come over again because they wouldn't agree with me dating you. I didn't want to be abandoned by them, because their opinion of me has so much weight in my life. I love them and I want them to be proud of me." As he says this, my hearts euphoric state immediately falls. If us being together means I ruin a family, it's not worth it. I can't do that to Mark and his family.

"But hyuck," He continues, cutting through my thoughts, "I don't want to wait anymore. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to hold anything from you. As selfish as it is, I want you to be in my life, experience all my happiness and pain with me, not just as my best friend, but as someone more. I know it's greedy of me donghyuck, but I want to openly hold you, call you, be with you, touch you without worrying about anything. I've done enough waiting," Mark finishes. 

He stares directly into my eyes as he says this, his own vulnerable and in a way, desperate. Staring into his eyes, something inside me finally breaks. I burst out into loud sobs, throwing my arms around Mark's neck, pulling him closer to me. I clutch on to him as if he could fly away any second if I let go even just the slightest. 

I continue to sob, rocking side to side, my face buried in the crook of his neck, and my hands holding tightly onto the back of his head. I feel him shaking, his cries unlike mine, are silent, but still apparent either way. He grabs fistfuls of my shirt as we rock, like he is holding onto me for dear life, and at that, I cry harder.

Soon our tears fade to sniffles and our rocking secedes. He pulls away first and wipes his tears with his shirt collar. I use the back of my hand to attempt to clear my face, but his outstretched hand stops me. He takes his thumb and wipes it across the right side of my face, where the tears are, and continues to do the same to the other side.

He grasps my face again once he finishes and pulls our foreheads together, tears and breaths mixing together. I smile to him softly, but it soon develops into a full fledged grin as he starts to laugh.

Our foreheads still connected, I take a mental screenshot of the view in front of me. The boy with twinkling eyes, red cheeks, and a tiny scar on his nose, and I think I could get used to this.

"Be my boyfriend?" 

"Took you long enough bitch."

-

8:43 pm.

We lay on the couch, legs intertwined. Mark, wait no, my boyfriend's head rests on my shoulder as we watch whatever is on the TV. Quite honestly I'm not paying attention, as I'm too preoccupied with wrapping my head around the fact that my best friend is now my boyfriend. To busy thinking about how his soft steady breath is ticking my neck, how our legs are tangled together on the sofa, our arms intertwined, and us being closer than we've ever been before. And yet, it seems perfectly normal. As if I was my entire life was leading up to this very moment. 

I've dreamed about this day more times than I can remember, yet somehow it's even better than I've imagined.

The sound of the door unlocking jerks me away from my lovey dovey thoughts, and I am suddenly reminded of the fact that we are in Jaemin's apartment. 

"I'm hooooome," Jaemin waltzes in, but stops abruptly at the sight of me and Mark on the sofa. His jaw drops, and he stands there for a good ten seconds before he gets ahold of himself. A huge smirk then starts to form on his face.

"Looks like someone finally got together," he sings.

"Shhh he's sleeping Jae," I reprimand. Jaemin's smug look only gets wider at that. 

"I'm guessing everything when well then, huh?" He prods.

"Yeah no thanks to you," I scoff, remembering how Jaemin split right after I opened the door to reveal Mark earlier today. 

"I wouldn't speak so soon Hyuckie," Jaemin cautions jokingly.

A sudden thought struck me as he says this. "By the way, how did Mark know I was at your house?" I ask.

"I texted him," Jaemin says nonchalantly, inspecting his fingernails.

"You WHAT?!" Beside me, Mark stirs.

"You texted him?!" I repeat, softer this time as to not wake Mark up. 

"Yeah, I was pissed at him for making you miserable so I texted him saying he needs to come and fix things or I was going to whoop his arse. Looks like it worked out," Jaemin's smug look returns and I roll my eyes at him.

I know Jaemin is going to hold this against me for the rest if my life, and I kind of really hate him for that, but at the same time I know I do owe him because he did help me, no matter how much I hate to admit it.

"Whatever boosts your ego, nana," I scoff and bury my face in Mark's shoulder, hugging him tighter. He shifts a but and allows me to wrap my arms all the way around him. I close my eyes, more comfortable now in the arms of the boy that I love than I've ever been before.

-

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