At Least They're Talking

Drip.. Drip.. Drip..

TRIGGER WARNING!! If you are like me in that you are struggling with some of the problems outlined in this chapter, you should skip to the last chapter. There will be a story summary at the end. You are not alone. *Things mentioned: Anorexia, Self Harm, Self Hate, Depression, amongst others.* ILY all.

The abuse had been going on nonstop for three months. What did Dean do to deserve this pain? Everything hurt. He hadn't eaten in over a week, and he barely felt the pains radiating from his stomach anymore. His legs were constantly a blood-soaked battle ground. The knife's patterns had long since moved away from his arms. They were too easy to discover, as he had found out after that first night. He made up some lie about falling at Lisa's house which was partially true. His world had collapsed, taking him with it. He thought that the move would be good for him, but the treatment he had been recieving from Alistair had only pushed him farther back. 

Alistair. He hated Dean, and Dean could not figure out why. Alistair had seemed to like the brothers when he had first came in the door, but after that night. The first night. Everything had changed between the two. But the abuse Dean recieved from Alistair was nothing compared to what Dean was doing to himself.

Every day, he told himself that he deserved the pain. He told himself that if he didn't eat today, Alistair would accept him and stop. The only thing keeping him here was knowing that Alistair would start on Sam if Dean ever left. Dean could not let Sam experience this amount of pain. He couldn't show his struggles. He had to be strong. He could not let anyone else see him break.

Dean felt completley and utterly alone.

He had no friends at school. His mom was always busy teaching, and John was always at Bobby's, not that Dean would tell him anyway. One person beating him was enough, thanks. Sammy looked up to Dean. Dean was his hero. Hero's can't have weaknesses. They are strong, unwavering. 

Dean didn't know what to do. 

Who could he trust with his struggles. No one. He was alone. 

No friends, that's no way to live. Dean didn't want to live anymore. His thighs were riddled with scars. He was hungry all the time. He had lost 20 pounds in the three months that the Winchesters had been living in Sioux Falls. 

Halloween was coming up soon, but Dean had no plans. He never did. His parents were going to a party, and Sam was going out with Jess, a girl he had taken an intrest in the past few weeks. Alistair was going out with his buddies, the ones that smoked all the time in class.

Dean would probably go out and buy himself another pack or two. He could not stop smoking. It was the only thing that made him feel ok. It made him feel as though everything was ok with the world. He just wished he could feel like that all the time. There was no way out.