Drawing Lessons

Be With Me

"Steve!" Bucky's voice was like a gentle smile, reflecting his mood as he walked up to his... friend? It was happy, but tinged with a hint of nervous energy unusual to his typically calm and relaxed air.

Steve turned, smiled immediately, though it fell rather quickly, as if reality had settled in almost immediately. There was something obviously on his mind, but he was trying his best not to let it weigh down on him too much.

"Hey," Steve responded, voice cheerier than he felt. Things were... weird.

"Hey," Bucky said as he drew nearer, sketchbook in hand. Before he even came fully to a stop, he reached out and pulled Steve into a kiss, his tall form leaning down slightly and curving inward as if to protect Steve from the world. He pulled back and smiled, still nervous but trying his best not to show it. Things were admittedly rather... weird between the two of them at that moment in time. But Bucky didn't want them to be.

"That's new." Steve remarked regarding the warm greeting without revealing how it had made him feel. The only inclination that it meant anything to him werr the patches of pink which had crawled onto his cheeks.

"Just happy to see you." Bucky said, and there was an awkwardness about his voice that neither of them was used to.

There existed at that moment already an uncomfortable lull in conversation, a situation which was rare between the two boys and thus noteworthy.

"Right, so, I have something to show you. Come inside? I hope you don't think it's too weird." Steve started talking quickly to fill the space, ushering Bucky through the front door of his house and to the kitchen. He busied himself making two mugs of tea as Bucky sat down at the table and awkwardly watched him, fidgeting with the corner of his spiral bound sketchbook.

Once Bucky had a steaming mug of english breakfast enveloped within his fingers, Steve pulled his sketchbook off of its precarious perch on the windowsill and plopped his thin frame down on the rickety seat across from Bucky.

Bucky looked on as Steve privately flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for and held the book against his chest a little bit nervously.

"This isn't really that weird, I guess, considering... well, I guess you get it, right? This drawing is... special. Different from what I normally do and I think honestly you have a right to see it because it's... personal." Steve rambled slightly, looking at the drawing rather than across the table, until he finally flipped his sketchbook around and slid it across the rough wood finish of his small kitchen table.

It was a drawing of Bucky alright, but it was different from any Steve had drawn in the past because... well, because it was in the nude. It didn't exaggerate Bucky's features or over-glorify him in any way. Rather, it was shockingly real. It showed the flaws as well as the attributes of Bucky's body. It showed his excitement and happiness and the slight fear of vulnerability that had been on Bucky's face. It showed the openness in Bucky's dark, warm eyes.

Bucky carefully set down his tea and leaned forward to get a better look at the intricacies and imperceptible details that had been added to the piece of artwork. The shine in his eyes and curvature of his chest.

"Sorry if this is weird or whatever, but I just couldn't get you out of my head afterward." Steve explained, sipping his tea and burning his tongue but not caring. He observed Bucky's reaction to the drawing. It was difficult to decipher.

Slowly, Bucky lifted his gaze up from the drawing on the table to Steve's expectant, nervous eyes.

"If you can draw like this," Bucky began, the slight impression of a smile ghosting his lips, "Then you owe me more art lessons."

Steve's face broke out into a grin, heavier on the left than the right, as always. It was that roguish grin that Bucky loved so much about Steve. It reflected his person.

"Okay," Steve agreed, leaning back in his chair, noticeably happy but still reflective, "But we need to figure out... how we're gonna do this."

"How do you want to do this?" Bucky asked, carefully keeping his voice light, even, measured. He attempted to keep his posture open but couldn't keep from wringing his hands nervously.

"I don't really know," Steve replied, "I don't know how these things work."

"Well," Bucky's voice was still carefully maintained, gentle, "It works something like this." He reached across the table and took Steve's fingers in his sweaty palm.

"We've always done that." Steve responded, voice small but not nervous.

"Yes, well, how long do you think I've felt something for you, Steve?" Bucky asked, giving the blonde a searching look.

"I don't know..." Steve trailed off, giggling lightly as a blush filled his face. Bucky sighed.

"Longer than I'd honestly care to admit, Stevie." He explained softly.
Steve rolled his eyes.

"Me, too Buck." Steve responded, "But how are we gonna actually do this?"

"I'd imagine it would be pretty similar to how we've always done this. Just with a different name. And maybe we're allowed to do and say things a little more sometimes."

"Okay, Buck, but honestly how are we going to keep people from finding out? I love you, I really do. But how will you possibly keep this private?" Steve was starting to lose himself in thoughts of panic and worst case scenarios. There was absolutely no way that this wasn't going to end in catastrophe.

"Just be with me. We'll figure out the details later."

Steve looked up to find Bucky there, exactly the same as he'd always been, warm and sweet and beautiful, holding his hand and looking at him hopefully. The expression in his eyes was almost pleading.

Steve leaned forward and brought Bucky to him.

"Okay Buck." He whispered.