ON HOLD:Ethereal Elle

Chapter One, My New Roommate

Elle Robinson.

The quiet, somewhat calming human that entered my room one day with a box full of things and never left. The first day we met she did not speak a word, I felt powerful because I assumed she was afraid of me. But that was not the case. I watched her unpack her things with a cigarette in my mouth, she occasionally glanced at me to check if I was still watching her every move.

"So, here are the rules new girl" I said to her in a confident tone, she continued to unpack as I stood up from my bed.

"This is MY room, you are just a visitor. Don't talk to me unless I talk to you, don't touch my things and if you steal my alcohol I will kill you. I think that's it for now"

She didn't reply, she didnt even look at me.

I'd never had a roommate before but my relationship with girls at college mainly consisted of me spitting in their faces and making them cry. So to watch this small, quiet girl not even shudder at my aggressive words made me.. Intrigued. But I would have never admitted that back then.

Six months passed after Elle became my roommate and she obeyed all of my rules. She would leave for college every morning as I drank on the windowsil, and return late at night as I sat in the exact same position she left me in. We didn't know each other at all and only properly saw each other at night time when we were both drifting off to sleep. This is how I wanted it to be, but it somehow angered me that she was fine with the way I was treating her.

One afternoon I decided to go for a walk and I found her sitting on the grass with a group of girls. This is when I learnt that she was an art student. She sat quietly with her head in a notebook as the three other girls chatted and ate lunch. I watched Elle for a moment before she looked up and instantly locked eyes with me. A smile formed on her face, she got up from where she was sitting and approached me without informing her friends on where she was going. I watched her wide eyed as she walked toward me, I was confused but also glad that she wanted to greet me.

"You're outside, that's great! Isn't it lovely today?" She said enthusiastically. For the first time in a while I was lost for words, what the hell is going on here?

"Why are you talking to me? After all of this time?" I asked her in a quiet, insecure tone. I lowered my head and felt almost ashamed for not keeping up with my stupid tough girl gimic.

"Because you are ready for me to talk to you now, you just needed the time and space to be comfortable with me. I know" Elle responded before touching my arm gently with her hand. I stared at her wide eyed once again, knowing deep down this was true but never wanting to admit it to her.

After that day things somehow got easier for me. I'd still drink my existence away on the windowsil instead of going to class, but I was always excited for Elles return in the evening. She was the first person who wanted to listen to me talk about my horrible past and explain in detail how horrific the year of 2018 was for me. The year before I met her. We would sit up most nights and she would give me the space to talk about my abusive ex boyfriend, how he controlled and manipulated me. How he made me this self destructive, depressed person that I now was in her presence. I told her how different I was before he poisoned my life, that I could think in straight lines and going outside was an easy task.

Somehow, she understood it all. She had never been through any of it but she always had the most perfect answer. It was like once I told her a story, she was there in that moment feeling everything that I felt. She seemed to know everything. For the first time in months I felt immense calm and comfort, while the rest of the college saw me as this terrifying angry monster.

Elle was an artist, an artist that never believed in herself. She liked to compare her work to the others around her, mainly her talented friends. She would cry over the fact that her teacher liked to give them praise while glaring her in the eyes as if to say "They are better than you, you should try harder." She seemed to always be intimidated by her own friends and somewhat paranoid that they didn't care for her as much as they let on. This was very bizarre to me as the more I learnt about her the more I adored her. She became the person I looked up to and trusted the most in the world.

Me, a twenty three year old alcoholic becoming insanely connected to my twenty year old roommate. The first time I had felt any type of real connection in my life.

Elle and I were very different. She radiated light, postivie energy and hope. While I was drowning in my past, feeling only negative things. But somehow we had one thing in common, something that took her a while to admit.

Anger.

We were both furious at the world around us, the way it was slowly dying and the living seemed to not care. The toxic people we had let into our lives who painted us a beautiful picture just to tear it down before our eyes. Leaving me resentful and craving some kind of revenge.

Elle never wanted revenge, only to grow from the pain of her past and create a better future. But I could still see the fury in her eyes some days when she would return from college, she would try to hide it from me but it could be felt miles away. The wind would pick up outside our window as she stormed around the room exhaling sighs of frustration. Those were the only times we related to one another. But that was good, more than good, actually.

I don't know why you chose to read this story, maybe you read the description and it made you think of somebody you know. Somebody who radiates that type of energy you think may be angelic. Or maybe you just want to hear about a real life angel and then realise that someone in your life is just like this, that's cool too.

But here, right now I am going to tell you a story. A powerful, loving story about a girl I once knew. Who's favourite hobby was to protect and love the people she knew, the people who were blessed enough to know her.

My name is Diana and my roommate was a real life angel, this is where her story begins.