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"You are onetwisted bonehead

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"You are one
twisted bonehead."











Odette drifted off into a peaceful slumber and Diego moved her body to under the bedding so that she would be tucked in. He turned off the lights in her room and left the house, locking the door with the key had since they were younger.

Diego went back to the Hargreeves home and walked up to his bedroom, until he noticed his shoes had been untied. He attempted to tie the laces, but failed. From the corner of his eyes he noticed Klaus walking by and he called him in so that he could tie his shoelaces.

Klaus slowly walked towards him, throwing the rope that was in his hand for Diego to catch, "Yeah, sure. If you tie me up after."

He looked down at the blue rope, "Come again?"

"You know, last time I was sober was that roaring good time when those freaks had me tied up in the motel room." Klaus explained, a cold sweat all over his body as he was shaking from drug withdrawal.

"Wow. You are one twisted bonehead." Diego told him with a sarcastic smile on his face.

"Why? you're the one who's always like, 'Klaus, you need to get sober, bro', 'my body's a temple, bro.'" Klaus told him, mimicking Diego's movements to the best of his abilities.

Diego raised one eyebrow at him, "There's better ways to get clean, bro."

"Not for me. I need someone to take away my options." Klaus explained, breathing heavily.

Diego eyed him down, and realized that this truly was the only way for Klaus to get sober. He nodded his head, "Okay. I'll do it. Can you help me with my laces first?"

Klaus bent down and began to tie Diego's shoelaces. Diego looked down at him, furrowing his eyebrows, wondering how the hell his brother got to this stage.

As soon as Klaus was done, Diego and him went up to an empty room and pulled out a chair for Klaus to sit on. Klaus got comfortable and Diego began to tie to rope around him.

Diego continued walking around Klaus in circles, "I hate this room."

"Oh! It got me high enough. I picked it clean of anything of value after Daddy kicked the bucket. Tighter and higher, please." Klaus told him.

Diego went around once more then pulled the rope as tight as he could while Klaus winced in pain. Diego looked at him, "If I see a boner, I'm out."

Klaus let out a small laugh, "It's the end of the world and you wanna get sober all of a sudden. Don't get me wrong man, good for you, but I thought you would wanna pop every pill on the planet."

"Trust me, the thought crossed by mind, but there is something I need to do and the whole pesky thing doesn't seem to work unless I'm sober." Klaus told him, spotting Ben from the corner of his eyes.

"Is this about conjuring the one you lost? What was her name?" Diego asked while he tied the rope around Klaus' legs.

Klaus sighed and remembered the moments he spent with Dave, "His name was Dave. We soldiered together in the A Shau Valley in the Mountain of the Crouching Beast."

Diego looked up at his brother, "Well, Dave must have been a very special person to put up with all your weird ass shit."

Klaus laughed at Diego, "Yeah, yeah he was kind and strong and vulnerable, and beautiful. Just beautiful. I was foolish enough to follow him all the way to the front line."

"You fought in this shit? They let you do that?" Diego asked.

"Let me?" Klaus chuckled, "War couldn't take enough bodies, including his." The room fell silent and Klaus spoke up again, "Hey look at us. Logging in some quality bro time before the world ends."

"I mean, everyone I like is dead, except for Odette. Mom, Detective Patch, I let them down, so here I am with you." Diego told his brother who just looked down.

Klaus then looked up with a small smile on his face, "Hey, you have me. You know that right?"

Diego chuckled, "Yeah. Sure."

Klaus sighed, "You know you put a lot of pressure on yourself for no reason. You're trying to save so many people at once, but you're a fucking mess, Diego. You keep putting others ahead of you and then saying you let them down, but they're all grown people. They can take care of themselves. You need to look after you, Diego."

Diego looked at his brother with furrowed eyebrows, "When did you become so wise?"

Klaus shrugged his shoulders and winked at Diego. He finally finished tying Klaus to the chair then began to leave the room, but was cut off by Klaus' voice, "Wait! I need to pee."

Diego rolled his eyes, "No."

"Oh c'mon!" Klaus yelled, but Diego ignored him and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.








(a/n)!

I know that this doesn't technically happen in the show bc the day starts over in the next episode, but for my book it actually does happen. I literally do not know what I'm doing with this book anymore so let's all hold hands and go downhill with this story.

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 | DIEGO HARGREEVES | ✓Where stories live. Discover now