Lance, Please

Lance wants to blow up the school

"Hey guys! I just realized something!" Lance exclaimed, drawing everyone's attention from their various tasks. "Allura and Coran have heard only happy and sad songs so far. Can I show them how psychotic musicals can get?"

Allura and Coran shared a worried look as Shiro sighed, already looking over it. "As long as it's nothing too scarring."

"Sweet!" Lance cheered. "Hunk, set up the stage! Keith, Pidge, to the fabricator! Meet back up in one varga!"

The four of them dashed out of the room, leaving the confused Alteans with an exasperated Shiro.

Sighing deeply, Shiro massaged his head gingerly. "I knew he would do this sooner or later. Let's get this over with."

~~~~~timeskip because that's the only thing I can write well~~~~~

"Finally!" Hunk exclaimed as the Alteans walked in, peeking around curiously at the stage. "Lance has been ready for ages! Let's get started. He's got this one song that he really wanted to do."

At this, Lance poked his head out from behind the curtain, eyes lighting up as he spotted Allura and Coran.

"Great! They're here! Take a seat and we can get started!"

He disappeared back behind the curtain, shoving Shiro out. Sighing lightly, Shiro moved and sat next to Hunk, who was vibrating with excitement.

Noticing the stares he was getting, Hunk gave a quick explanation. "The song he's about to do was one of his best roles in school. We're about to get a Broadway level performance from him, it's that good!"

Allura opened her mouth to ask a question, but quickly shut it as the curtains opened. Keith and Lance were the only ones on stage, a fake door in between them and an empty window in the background. Keith was wearing a blue blazer and black slacks, dress shoes on his feet and hair in a messy ponytail. Lance, on the other hand, was wearing an all-black outfit consisting of slacks, t-shirt, dress shoes and trench coat, his hair slicked back sloppily.

"All is forgiven, baby! Come on, get dressed. You're my date to the pep rally tonight!" Lance began, a wicked gleam in his eye as he knocked heavily on the door. Keith jumped slightly, falling on his butt and scrambling away slightly, as if trying to get away from Lance. Seemingly giving up on opening the door for the moment, Lance turned around as he began singing, pacing slightly as he did so.

"You chucked me out like I was trash, for that, you should be dead—" He swept a hand through his hair as he interrupted himself, motions jerky and desperate. "But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash, what if high school went away instead?"

The audience watched as Keith seemed to get more and more distressed as Lance grew more and more desperate.

"Those assholes are the key! They’re keeping you away from me! They made you blind, messed up your mind but I can set you free!" Lance cried, waving his arms aggressively.

"You left me and I fell apart, I punched the wall and cried— Bam! Bam! Bam!" He yelled, stomping harshly in the stage with each bam, making the Alteans jump and Keith attempt to scoot back more.

"Then I found you changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside! And so I built a bomb, tonight our school is Vietnam! Let’s guarantee they never see their senior prom!" Lance sang, growing louder as he reached the chorus.

Allura worriedly glanced over at Hunk for answers, but saw him entranced with Lance's performance. Luckily, Shiro saw and leaned over, whispering in her ear. "Vietnam was a battlegrounds on Earth for several years. Prom is pretty much a ball, but less formal." Getting a nod of understanding, both tuned back in in time to catch the next part.

"I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one!" Lance continued, pressing himself against the door, seemingly ignorant of Keith trying to distance himself on the other side. "Don’t give up on me now! Finish what we’ve begun! I was meant to be yours!"

Spinning quickly on his heel, Lance began to pace again, slightly more crazed and erratic than before. "So when the high school gym goes BOOM with everyone inside— Pkhw! Pkhw! Pkhw!" He cried, shooting finger guns with each sound effect he made before whipping out a piece of paper from within his trench coat and brandishing it for the audience. "In the rubble of their tomb, we’ll plant this note explaining why they died!"

Hunk and Shiro suddenly joined Lance in reciting the letter's contents, making the Alteans jump slightly. "We, the students of Westerburg High, will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through, to you. Your society turns out slaves and blanks. No thanks. Signed the Students of Westerburg High. ‘Goodbye.’"

Lance marched erratically back to the door, leaning back against it as the gleam in his eye grew Wilder and he hugged himself tightly. "We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors. Bring marshmallows, we’ll make s’mores! We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!"

"I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one!" He sang again, running his hands through his hair again and messing it up even more, movements becoming even more desperate. "I can’t take it alone! Finish what we’ve begun! You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need! You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed!"

Spinning around again, Lance started banging on the door again, shaking the knob violently. "Veronica, open the—open the door, please. Veronica, open the door! Veronica, can we not fight anymore, please, can we not fight anymore? Veronica, sure, you’re scared, I’ve been there. I can set you free! Veronica, don’t make me come in there! I’m gonna count to three!"

As Lance banged on the door, a rope was tossed to Keith from offstage, seemingly from Pidge. Keith quickly tied a noose from it and mimed hanging himself as Lance grew louder, much to the Altean's surprise.

"One!" Lance yelled, backing away from the door slightly, still unaware of what was happening behind the door. "Two! Fuck it!"

He then kicked down the door, stopping in shock when he saw Keith 'dead', stumbling back a few steps and falling to his knees.

"Oh my God…" He breathed softly, eyes wide with shock and horror. "No! Veronica!"

"Please don’t leave me alone." Lance whimpered weakly, stretching out a trembling hand towards Keith in disbelief. "You were all I could trust. I can’t do this alone."

Lance pushed himself to stand again, stance determined as he belted the last line. "STILL, I WILL IF I MUST!..."

"Veronica!" Pidge called from offstage, making Lance jerk his head around, panicked.

"I brought you a snack!" They called again, walking onstage as Lance dove through the empty window on the back of the stage.

"Veronica?" Pidge asked again, glancing around the stage before spotting Keith's 'body' and letting out a bloodcurdling scream.

"AAAAAAAA!"

Right as they screamed, the lights cut off, and the curtain closed. Unable to process what they had seen, Allura and Coran sat shell-shocked as Shiro waved a hand in their faces and Hunk cheered wildly, calling for an encore.

Getting no response from the Alteans, Shiro turned to Lance, Keith, and Pidge, who were making their way out from behind the curtain. All three seemed very proud of themselves, but their faces turned sheepish when they saw Shiro's disappointed face.

"You three are gonna have a lot of explaining to do once we get them functioning again." Shiro scolded, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the trio shift uncomfortably.

"Sorry Space Dad." They chorused, shuffling awkwardly and glancing at each other as Hunk laughed.

"Note to self: Never let Lance do a song like that again." Hunk chuckled, patting Pidge on the head.

"Agreed."

"Now, who's gonna snap them out of it?"

"....."

"Not it!"

"Goddamn it Lance!"