Lance, Please

Candy Store

Allura stood in the control room, watching the paladins face the gladiator. Today’s training wasn't necessarily intense, so she allowed them to train without their armor. All of the humans ended up wearing their regular clothes, after Keith had argued that it was good practice for the rare case that they get caught without proper protection. Watching closely, she sighed as Lance grazed Keith once again. Shiro stabbed his hand through the gladiator, and the simulation powered down.

Immediately, Keith whirled around to face Lance, a murderous glare on his face. “What the hell was that man?!” He yelled, stomping up to the Blue paladin, ready to tear him a new one. “You almost shot me again! Were you even paying attention?!”

“Are we gonna have a problem?”Lance snapped, hand moving to his hip. A sudden note rang out over the speakers, causing everyone but Lance, Hunk, and Pidge to jump. The Garrison Trio had somehow arranged themselves in a triangle formation, and were slowly pushing Keith back.

“Do you have a bone to pick?” He continued, seemingly ignoring the music starting over the speakers. Continuing his advance, Keith noticed that Lance was now wearing a tutu, and Hunk and Pidge both had one on as well. He had no time to question it though, as they reached the wall and Keith's back was now pressed against it.

Lance kept singing, poking Keith once more before sauntering back to the center of the room and gesturing wildly, Hunk and Pidge hot on his heels. “We've come so far, why now are you pulling on my DICK?”

Shiro had joined Keith by now, who was still leaning on the wall in shock. Leaning over, Keith turned to his brother. “What's happening?” He whispered.

“Don't question it.” Shiro whispered back, leading him to the control room to watch. He had learned the hard way to just let these things run their course.

“I'd normally slap your face off.” Lance sang, getting more and more into the music. “And everyone here could watch.” He continued, motioning around the room, even though it was practically empty. “But I'm feeling nice, so here's some advice. Listen up, BEATCH!”

Twirling to face the observation room, the trio began dancing, this obviously having been practiced before. Knowing Lance, it probably had. Keith zoned out as they kept singing, something about drinking and being popular.

Snapping back to attention, he started watching again just as they reached the apparent climax of the song. Pidge had scurried forward, beginning to sing a solo. “Honey what ya waiting fooorrr-” They were cut off by Lance, who shoved her to the side a little roughly.

“Shut UP Heather!” He said, strutting forward again, hips swinging once more. “Welcome to my candy stoooreee~~!”

Keith's face turned a bright shade of cherry. “I didn't know he could sing that high….”

Shiro looked back at him, caught sight of the blush, and started laughing again. “We should get Lance to do this more often.”

“Shiro!” Keith cried, face burning brighter.

“Pidge has obviously installed some sort of voice cue software for Lance.” Allura pointed out, still fairly confused over the sudden music break. “You might as well take advantage of it.”

After what would soon be dubbed the Heathers Incident, spontaneous dance numbers (mostly led by Lance) became pretty common. Shiro had finally explained musicals to the Alteans, and Pidge began spending more time in their lab. They claimed that they were working on a way to connect to Earth internet so that they could watch musicals and TV shows again.

Nobody questioned it.

They got it working a month later, and Lance cried when they watched Wicked for the first time in forever.

Keith never stopped wondering how the Garrison Trio got tutus out in space, and how they got them on so fast.

He never figured it out.

(Lance made them wear the tutus under their clothes all the time because ‘You never know when you might be dragged into a dance battle!’)