✶ c h a n g e d ✶ { Female Deku AU }

Thirty Five

I leaned on my door and I had to catch my breath since I ran up more than three flights of stairs to get to my dorm. My mind raced with thoughts. Did Shirogane try to kiss me?! He couldn't have tried to do that, no, we just met a few months ago. Why would he start making moves on me if he hardly knew anything about me?!

I moved away from my door and onto my bed, my head started to hurt from all the thinking I've done. Lying on my back, I stared at the white paint of my ceiling. Even if Shirogane actually kissed me before I backed out, I wouldn't have felt the same way. When Shoto left, it was like a whole was drilled into my heart. If I tried to, I couldn't move on to anyone else. 

Flicking off my lightswitch, I covered myself in my bedsheets and decided it was best for me to get some rest. While my body thought it would be a good idea for me to get some rest, my brain disagreed very strongly.

Insomnia kicked in and after two hours of trying to get some shut-eye, I finally figured out I wouldn't be sleeping for a while. Kicking off my sheets and putting on my slippers, I walked out of my dorm. I didn't know where I was planning to go, but I just let my feet guide the way.

I found myself in the kitchen, and I then poured myself some water. While drinking my water, I started out of the kitchen window. It had a view of a street, where cars passed, people doing some late-night walking, and lights from the inner city glowed.

"Midoriya?" I heard a voice ask. I slightly jumped and turned around, seeing it was only Kirishima behind me. He looked at me with a questioning look, probably wondering why I was in the kitchen at this hour.

"O-Oh, hey Kirishima," I replied, clutching my water.

"What are you doing in here? It's pretty late."

"I could ask you the same question, Kirishima."

Kirishima walked over to the sink, also right by me. "I was coming to get some water. Now answer my question."

Looking back at the window, I answered the redhead's question. "To be honest, I have no idea why I'm here. I couldn't sleep."

"Midoriya, are you okay?" Kirishima suddenly asked.

I looked at the boy next to me with a confused face, "why?"

"It's just...We haven't really spoken since before Todoroki left, and I wanted to know if you were doing okay. For these past months, you've become more distant from us every day. The whole class is worried for you," explained the red-haired boy.

This was the question I've always hated answering, especially now. I was about to say I was fine, but something stopped me. It's like I wanted to say that sentence, but my mouth couldn't speak it out. I then felt a tear roll down my cheek, and the only thing I could say was this; "I'm not okay, Kirishima, I'm not."

My wall of smiles and trying to be strong crumbled to the ground as more tears fell from my eyes like a waterfall. I felt Kirishima's strong arms wrap around me and I just cried into his shoulder, taking in all the comfort I could get. "It's okay, Midoriya. Just let it all out," Kirishima consoled me and I kept weeping, it seemed like I couldn't stop crying.

We let go after a long while and I wiped the sticky tears off my cheeks. "T-Thanks, Kirishima."

"No problem, Midoriya. You helped me with my Bakugo situation, and I'm here to help you. We all are. You don't have to act strong and pretend like everything is okay when it isn't," said Kirishima.

"I know...I just, don't want people thinking I'm weak. All my life I've felt like I'm worthless, then I came to UA and-" a sob erupted from my mouth.