Not Expendable

Nightmare

SPOILERS for ENDGAME!  I finally saw it.  

Final Spoiler warning!  Turn back now if you haven't seen Endgame! :)

"No, no, no....." Hope heard a voice in the midst of her sleep.  It was quiet at first.  Hope knew that Scott sometimes talked in his sleep, and she generally wasn't bothered by it.  She turned over in bed, pulling the covers closer around her.   

"Hope," he groaned.  "Please don't...."

His volume was louder, so Hope sat up, grimacing slightly from her sore muscles.  They'd trained all day in the avengers compound.  She got kicked in the ribs pretty hard by Peter.  

"Scott," she said, pushing his shoulder lightly with one hand, and rubbing her eyes with the other.  "Wake up."

He was quiet for a while, and so Hope began to lie back in bed.  She reached towards her nightstand, fumbling for her earplugs in the dark.  As she got one in her ear, Scott began yelling. 

"No!" he shouted.  "No!!  Please come back!"  

Hope rolled her eyes.  She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.  She sat up again, turning on the lamp beside their bed.  

Scott's forehead had a sheen of sweat, and his teeth were grinding in his mouth.  His eyes were slightly clenched shut.  

"Scott," Hope sighed, now scooting herself closer to him.  "C'mon, now, wake up."  She patted his cheek.  She thought that he looked especially handsome when he slept, but now she didn't feel like maintaining that when she was this tired.  

In response, he flipped onto his back.  After a few seconds, he turned his head and moaned.  

"Hope!"  

She grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him.  "Scott--wake--up!" she snapped in frustration.  If this didn't work, she was sleeping on the couch.  

"AH!"

His eyes shot open, and he bolted upright in bed, gasping.  His heavy breathing was almost as if he'd just finished sprinting.  He put a hand on his racing heart, his mouth gaping.  A drop of sweat fell from his forehead.  He glanced at Hope in bewilderment.  

"Hope?" he swallowed in between gasps.  

"Hey," she said.  At first she was annoyed, but now she was more concerned at how disoriented his state was.  "Are you okay?"  

"I....had a nightmare," he breathed, running a hand through his hair.  He turned his head towards Hope, visibly shaking.  "I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay," she murmured.  She rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.  "You said my name a lot."

He nodded, looking down as if he was ashamed.  "I, uh....I dreamt that you, uh....you were turned into dust again."  He wiped his nose, biting his lip.  "When I saw Thanos's army turn to dust, I started having these kinds of dreams every once in a while.  Sometimes it's about Cassie, or even myself.  This was the first time it was about you."

"Oh," Hope said.  She barely remembered when it happened to herself, but she was there with Scott when Tony gave the final snap, wiping out the alien army.  It was surreal to watch them vanish in front of her.  She was the first to disappear out of her family.  

"I kept trying to reach out to you," he said.  He looked at Hope again, shaking his head in denial.  "I'm sorry, Hope, I know this is stupid.  Let's just go back to sleep."  

"Scott," Hope sighed as he laid back down.  "It's not stupid.  You're scared."

"Yes, I'm scared," he admitted.  "I'm always scared of losing you again.  And I'm scared of what Hank would do to me."  

Hope turned off the lamp and curled up on top of him.  He smelled like sweat, but she didn't mind.  She kissed his neck softly before settling into his arms.  

"I just....can't believe you're even here," he whispered.  "That we even won."

"I know," she whispered.  "It's been a few years, hasn't it?" 

His arms clenched tighter around her.  "I could've spent five years without you.  Like so many did."

Her eyes stung.  For her, it was just seconds of being gone.  But for people like Cassie, it was long enough to grieve many times over.  

"We're lucky," was all she could manage to get out.  

She felt his lips in her hair.  "I love you, Hope," he murmured.  "Thank you for being my partner."

"I love you, too," she replied.  She pulled the covers over them, enveloping them both in warmth.  "And you're welcome.  Although some days are easier than others."  

"I'll make it up to you," he yawned.  "For waking you up.  I'll make you one of those....green smoothie things.  Ladies like that.  With spinach."

Hope couldn't help but laugh against his chest.  "I hate spinach, Scott."  

But he was already fast asleep.