^r@ntS^

^r@ñt^ #6

(Dont waste your time reading this, you have better things to do. You dont need my negativity)

1. I have a crush
2. Its a male...i know
3. This is a rant about the crush
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Only 3 people know the person i have a crush on...or at least his name. All the other people know its a male crush, but have no idea who he is. AND YES I AM STILL A FUXKING HE/HIM! I guess im bi....but id rather date girls in a way...i dont fuxking know anymore. I dont really want to fall in love again until my heart is healed. But the boy i like has had a crush on me for a while...(thats not why i like him tho) i found this out last monday. We have known each other for a while, we have been friends for a while. Hes nice to me, he compliments me. He respects me. Hes a little cutie as well. He likes me because (his words) "I respect him, stand up for him, i am nice to him and im cute" pqbspdebsi. Whatever.

I cant tell my family that i have a crush on a boy. They will freak out, because they are used to me liking girls. Which in a way....i still wanna like only girls. I mean summer is coming! I wont even see my crush...i wanna give his mom a piece of my mind. She is SO mean to him, he doesnt deserve that. He works hard for his grades and is such a good kid. Today i wore my hair in a man bun at school, he complimented me so much about it. I might wear my hair like that more. But let me get to the real reason why i am ranting about this...

People...people are trying so hard to figure out who my crush is. My 3 friends...who i really only trust in that school, they know. And know how to keep their mouths shut. (Because they know im a crazy bitch and ill hurt them) (fuxk broken just started playing while im typing this...) But its mostly just the drama. People making up rumours, lying, trying to pry the answer right out of me. I cant....i cant say because....i just cant deal with the drama that comes with it. And i CANT risk my family finding out. I sometimes wish my numbness was ALWAYS there. I hate feelings...they fuxk me up.

All i can do is wait for this school year to end...let people keep wondering. And let this phase pass...because i feel like i am going through a phase with this boy thing...fuxk feelings...