Loneliness. It's a feeling everyone has. It's a feeling that you try to push away but it stays. Nobody wants to feel it, ever. Of course it goes away but there is no time frame. You just know. You never are truly alone even if you feel like you are. There are people around you but they aren't there. You know they're there but you chose to ignore them. I never in my whole life felt so alone than I did now. People tell you that they are there for you but are they really? How the hell can you trust them? They may leave you in the dust and you'll be alone again. You get this idea that you'll be alone forever until you meet your best friend or soul mate or whoever will make you happy. I have never felt more alone than now. Sure I have a good group of friends and a great job but there is something missing. Part of me is missing. I don't know what part but part of me is missing. I used to think I know who I was but I don't. My head messes with me saying I will forever be alone and never have anyone who truly cares for me. That can't be true, can it? There has to be someone. Or did I already find them and don't know it yet? Am I putting myself into this lonely position? Indeed I am. I am the one pushing people away. I am the one who makes the mistakes. I am the one to blame for being alone. And the only person who can fix that is me.
