Choices

chapter 3

I read the book which I stole, borrowed; I correct myself, from the library. This book is more boring than I would have thought it to be. It is an autobiography about some dhampir who was shadow kissed with a moroi, who was a spirit user.

These things were kept a secret until about a few years ago, when our queen, Vasalisa Dragomir was a spirit user. Spirit users are still a kind of mystery to the whole world but the vampire elements have been increased to five. Earth, water, fire, air and spirit.

This book tells what the lady, Trina and her guardian/shadow kissed friend Freya were going through. Much part of it is sad really. The book ends with Freya being driven into madness and Trina killing herself. I shut the book. This is depressing.

Three days are over since Sarah left. I go and put the book back into its shelf in the library. I start to recall the elements, Sarah is a fire user, Thomas is an air user and Daren is an earth user.

I still remember the time when it was a game for people to drench one another. it had seemed a totally unrelatable game to me. Bored, I go and roam the grounds. Surely, I must not be the only one on school grounds right now. As if my thoughts are echoed, a guardian walks upto me. "Isn't it late for you to be out?"

Her name is Rosaline, I think. "The sun is shining bright. Don't you guys have a break right now? There is no one here. Except me, of course."

"Why are you here? Don't you have some place to go back to?"

"No."

She looks at me skeptically for a minute then says, "Well, in that case, why don't you come and train? The whole ground is free. Meet me here at eight, in the evening."

"Umm...could we practice during daylight hours, since school is officially over?"

I don't want to waste an opportunity to practice and also I can spend my time somewhere.

"Meet me here in a hour." she says and walks away. I squeal at the thought of having to do something. I race back to my room and change into comfortable clothes in which I can practice.

For the next two weeks I practice for long hours outside. Rosaline is a pretty good teacher. She is calm and patient.

I look at her and want to be more like her every day. She is dedicated to her work. She is strong and helpful. There is still this part of me that wants to travel to all the academies and discover the world.

One day after practice I ask her, "Did you ever want to be something else? Want to be something other than a guardian?"

She is looking into the distance and smiling. "Yes. Why not? I am a guardian. But that is just a part of me. We can follow our heart but we must also do our duty. You can't go after something that will distract you from your duty. We all think we are invincible when we are small but really we are not. We are fearsome fighters but there is a tender part in us also. That part wants to be loved, wants to love."

"Rosaline, would it be okay if I left this academy and just went? I mean away from this world. Away from being a guardian?"

She is looking at me with a question in her eyes and it is also tinged with disbelief. I have let her down. Rosaline has taught me for over a few months, but in these two weeks I have grown closer to her. I easily cozy upto someone and I feel guilty every time I let someone down.

I should not have asked that question to Rosaline in the first place. I am suddenly uncomfortable in front of her.

"Why would you ask that? Do you feel left out here? Is it something between you students?"

"No, I was just asking."

She pauses for a minute, as if arguing with herself whether to spill the words or not. At last she says, "If you want to leave this academy, for whatever reasons you want to, it is your choice. But do you think you could be happy with being just a commoner.

I will tell you something. When I was seventeen, I left my academy, in London. I was really good in my whole batch. But I wanted a chance at being a musician. I did play at a few places and then I realized I felt incomplete without being a part of this world. My best friends were from here. Being a guardian and having the responsibility of saving someone's life was a part of me."

She comes closer to me and hugs me and kisses me on the forehead. "Take your chance; just do what makes you feel complete. Never be afraid of change. Never be ashamed of who you are."

She goes and I am confused whether she is telling me to leave the academy or stay and do my job. I leave the ground and hurry back to my room.

I go to the window that opens into the library and take another book. It has been a long time since I have read a book.

I spent the rest of the day reading. I am almost going to bed when my cell phone beeps. I look at it and see it is a text from Sarah. She and Daren are hugging each other in the picture and below that she has typed-'having fun. Miss you.'

Sarah and I talk every night. Sometimes at odd times. She could be calling me at two in the morning. I type back- 'miss you too.'