I Fell In Love, But It Wasn't Mine To Have

3

"Behave, slut," Yuki called from the front.
"S'il te plait, arrete," Tsukiyama whimpered. He felt sick and dizzy and confused. He didn't want this. Ryuu pushed in another finger, and Shuu struggled then, crying out and begging in french for him to let go, please stop, no, no, no.
As he squirmed, yanking his hips away, hot pain tore through him, and more tears escaped as he sobbed. Something wet dribbled down his leg.
"Blood counts as lube, right?" Ryuu asked Yuki, pulling Shuu back.
"Sure, man."
Pain exploded in the side of Tsukiyama's thigh, blood oozing out as the other ghoul used his kagune to slice Shuu's pants away. He tore off his boxers in another instant, spreading his victim's legs, and Shuu brought up a knee to kick his tormentor in the dick.
'This wasn't happening, it wasn't, it couldn't be, please no, stop, stopstopstop, nonononono.......'
"You are really starting to piss me the fuck off," Ryuu hissed in Tsukiyama's ear. He bit his shoulder, tearing flesh from bone. At the same time, something hard and hot pushed inside of Shuu. He screamed, tensing, but Ryuu bucked hard, and Tsukiyama felt himself tear as his rapist's hips met his ass. His eyes rolled back, and he arched his spine, agony making his head fuzzy. He couldn't see, everything was a blur.
"Ohh~ Ohhh, he's so tight. So hot, yes~"
Shuu sobbed, trembling, frozen in place, too scared to move for fear of hurting himself more. Blood flowed from the wound in his shoulder, making him even more lightheaded. He continued to cry quietly, and then Ryuu moved. White-hot pain exploded behind his eyes, and a gurgled scream ripped from his throat. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, 'stop please stop no I don't want it stop stop......'
Ryuu moaned, now thrusting in earnest, praising Tsukiyama's heat and tightness, saying distantly that he must be a virgin. With a cruel laugh, Yuki said something along the lines of "Not anymore."
Pain throbbed through Shuu's body, burning and searing and aching and blistering, and he felt himself slipping, observing himself through the eyes of a stranger, watching dispassionately as Ryuu fucked him. Unconsciousness came then, wrapping around him firm as a blindfold. He woke what seemed like seconds later. His face was pressed into the seat, and his body throbbed dully, jerking forward as the ghoul behind him screwed him enthusiastically.
"Fuck, he's still so damn tight, even after you, Ryuu," the person who must have been Yuki, groaned. Shuu laid still, blinking and feeling a tear slip down his cheek.
He was exhausted, vision blurry, mind fuzzy, mouth dry and body throbbing from being violated. And yet, he felt empty. Numb. 'This isn't happening', he told himself.
'It's just a bad dream, a bad dream, that's all. When I wake up, I'll be home and Kanae will be there with coffee and I will decide whether to get Kaneki daffodils or lilies today.'
Shuu closed his eyes again, as the tears continued to flow.
***
Tsukiyama opened his eyes, not knowing where he was. He was lying down, a cold, hard surface under his cheek. The scent of garbage invaded his nose, making him feel sick.
His head hurt, and so did his shoulder, and his back,right where his kakuhou was, and his....his genitals. He sat up abruptly, the world spinning.
Vomit splattered on the dull gray concrete, and he heaved for what seemed like hours as the events of the previous night played back over and over.
He wiped his mouth weakly, before collapsing back into his own puke. He didn't have the strength to roll away from it, nor hold himself up. He shivered in the cold air, feelings his wound on his shoulder throb. His stomach clenched. He needed food, but the very thought made him feel sick.
Why? Why had they done that to him? Had he offended them? Had he pissed off whatever entity that controlled the universe? What had he done to deserve......deserve that? He was disgusting. Weak. How could he let someone do that to him? He was Shuu Tsukiyama. No one did that to someone like him. But they had. They had, and now......what was he going to do?
He once again tried to sit up, managing to succeed. He closed his eyes, breathing hard, his entire body screaming in protest. He needed to assess the situation, he thought blankly. 'Need to know what to do. Have to be strong. Have to fix this. Can't let anyone know.'
Not his father, or Matsumae, or Kanae. No one. Not Kaneki, or Banjo, and not Hinami. Especially not Hinami, he thought, eyes welling with tears.
He attempted to stand, crying out as pain shot through every nerve in his body, and he felt liquid drip down his legs. He then realized he was naked from the waist down, his shirt in shreds.
He didn't manage to stand up fully until his seventh try, by then softly sobbing. Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts. Shuu wobbled on his feet, dazed and confused. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know where he was.
He struggled to keep his eyes open, looking around in an attempt to get an idea of his whereabouts. Concrete sidewalk, concrete buildings. His gaze landed on a dumpster, the source of the disgusting smell that assaulted Shuu's nose. He must be in an alley, he thought slowly. What a typical dumping ground. He giggled hysterically, a high, strained noise. It seemed even he, Tsukiyama Shuu, was subject to the same treatment as everyone else whose rights had been stolen.
He had never cared about those women and men even. Had never bothered to help, even when he saw someone in the same situation that he was in now. 'Karma is a bitch.'
He didn't know how long he leaned against the alley wall, laughing at the irony and justice of it all. He had deserved it, hadn't he? Penance for all he had done. He was garbage.
Maybe he should crawl into the dumpster and die. That would be beneficial for everyone. No one would care if he disappeared, or died. No one cared if he was hurt and starving and alone.
For once, Tsukiyama was just like everyone else. His stomach gave a painful lurch, and he could feel his kakugan activate as his hunger demanded to be sated. He willed his feet to move, carry his body in a direction where he could find something to eat.
The streets were strangely empty, even though this was Tokyo, a city that never truly slept, even at night. He must be in the fourth ward, then. People knew better than to be on the streets at night, where ghouls ruled. On the bright side, it would be easy to kill someone. The occupants of this ward were the trash heap of humanity. Alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, homeless people, criminals. Whoever it was he caught definitely wouldn't be up to his gourmet standards, but for once, he didn't care. He needed to eat.
He limped slowly, sniffing much like a dog as he tried to detect the scent of meat. Meat, meat, meat, rivers of blood and chewy muscle, all begging to be devoured.
His mouth watered as he spotted an elderly woman walking close to the side of a building. He picked up his pace, though his body screamed in protest, no thoughts except to kill, and to eat.
*********