I Fell In Love, But It Wasn't Mine To Have

10

The ghoul grinned drunkenly. "I only have 5,000 on me right now."

Tsukiyama blinked with disbelief. "T-that'sh *hic* not even...half of the price of *hic* one, you *hic* bashtard!"

"Oops," Hayate smirked, while his friends (all but one) snickered into their drinks.

Humiliation swept over Shuu when he realized he'd been fucked over.
Fury boiled, too, but he knew he didn't stand a chance in a fight.
So he glared, feeling tears well in his eyes before he staggered off. As he did, he heard someone say quietly, "That was a shitty thing to do, Hayate."
Tsukiyama staggered to the front, not noticing the tears tracing a burning path down his cheeks. He wished he hadn't gone out with Cho. He should've stayed at The Barking Dog.
At the bar, a woman glanced at Shuu, then froze with surprise. She looked very familiar, with long peach-orange hair, but he didn't stop, pushing his way out of the bar.
Fuck this stupid place, he thought, turning around to check the name so he'd never come here again.
The neon letters spelled out "Helter Skelter."

************
Tsukiyama sat down hard, eyes wide, mouth dry, his heart pounding.Images flashed through his mind, blurring and replaying over and over.
He could smell leather, and sweat, feel blood drip down his thighs, feel the hot breath on his neck, hands touching him, cock tearing his insides. He could hear laughter, and moans, and sobs, and screams.
A soft sob slipped from his mouth as he stared up at the sign, slowly rocking back and forth, feeling bile rise in his throat.
'Nononodon't touchmedon'thurtmepleasepleasestopithurts.'
He threw up, sides heaving, painting the sidewalk with vomit streaked with cum and alcohol. He sobbed, gasping and shaking, feeling dizzy and empty and 'stop, God, please stop, no no no, I don't want to.'
He whimpered, gagging, remembering everything that had happened, tears puddling on the concrete.
Tsukiyama didn't know how long he stayed there, and didn't care.
All that he could see, hear, taste, was that night. He choked on a cry, throat burning from so much bile being thrown up.
Suddenly, hands were touching him, and he flinched, a terrified sound ripping out of him.

"Pleasenononodon'thurtmeI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry."
The touch withdrew, a solid presence beside him, hovering.

"---kiyama? Are you---- take you ---"

The voice was male, and worried. Shuu couldn't help but recognize it, though he couldn't put a face to the calm, quiet and clear voice.
Tsukiyama shivered, whimpering, still seeing that night in his mind, fear and pain setting his nerves on fire.

"----fuck, I don't---bastards----at Helter Skel---yes, it's him, Ren---"

Shuu curled up tightly, thankfully not in his own puke this time, crying silently.
A gentle hand brushed him, touching his shoulder lightly, and he flinched, squeaking with fear.

"---it's okay, I'm not going-----will be here soon, he'll----Tsukiya---?"

The gourmet continued to cry, heedless of anything but his own hell from the past.
---------------------------------------------------------->

It seemed like forever Tsukiyama laid there, the other ghoul talking to him soothingly, the lightest touches on him, careful not to shatter the gourmet any more than he was.
The man smelled nice, Tsukiyama thought, just like a box of the darkest chocolate. He unconsciously scooted closer to the warmth of the ghoul.
A hand brushed his forehead, pushing his hair out of his face. Shuu blinked up at the other, vision blurry.
The other ghoul looked down at him worriedly. His hair was black, long on on side and pulled into a bun. The other side was shaved. Piercings decorated his face, and tattoos swirled up his arms and over his shoulders. Tsukiyama knew him, his name was just on the edge of his brain.
The guy frowned, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face.

"Are you okay, Tsukiyama?"

It was the first full sentence the gourmet had been able to hear properly.
And the question simply made him burst into a fresh wave of tears. No. He wasn't okay, never would be okay.
The other's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry."
He reached out, probably to touch Shuu on the shoulder, then pulled his hand back, sucking at his lip piercing.
Tsukiyama finally sniffed, taking a shaky breath, his entire body shaking like a leaf.

A car pulled up, stopping suddenly in front of Helter Skelter, and a man got out, one with silver hair, a fierce scowl, and goatee."What happened, Uta?"
Uta. The name clicked. Poem. Song. Mask maker. Former Clown.
Memories, both good and bad. Tsukiyama scooted closer to him, touching his hand. Uta jumped, then caught his hand, squeezing it.
Then he filled in the other, not taking his eyes off of Shuu.