SLOW BURN

9. what are we doing?

NATALIE'S POV

I am as excited to speak with Brad as I was when I saw Crystal in Newport.

I know I have no right to be but I'm annoyed that Josh invited her. Now I'm wondering what is going on between them. For some reason, I just realized that they work together. He sees her more than me. They have more things in common. Not only that but Crystal is very attractive. She has a killer body and the face that makes you look at her too long because it's that pretty. Worst of it all is that I can't show my annoyance because I have no claim over Josh. So I have to suck it up and pretend all is good in the world. It doesn't help that she is so nice to me.

This is what's going through my head as I walk next to Brad on the beach. I'm freezing. I was ready to go inside but then Brad said he wanted to talk. I knew there was a chance that he was going to come too but I was still surprised to see him. The dark circles under his eyes make him look tired. I wish he would go sleep.

"So," I finally break the silence, suddenly impatient to get this over with. It's so weird to be with him now, especially with what I'm feeling for his brother. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't know..." he hesitates. "We haven't talked since we broke up."

We stop walking and I face him. "I don't think there's anything left to talk about, Brad."

He looks at me and there's a sadness in his eyes. "It feels weird to not talk to you, Nat."

I feel my face soften and my shoulders relax. "I know."

He looks at the ocean as the waves come crashing against each other. I'm grateful for the background noise. He reaches for my hand. "I want to ask for another chance."

I shake my head slowly, pulling my hand away. "Brad...I'm sorry, no."

"Why not? Did you already move on with someone else?"

"Of course not. I'm not like you fucking a different girl every night." I retort feeling angry at him.

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "I'm an idiot, Nat. I know I don't make the best decisions when I'm feeling down but-I love you."

"Stop it." I beg. "Please, Brad. There's really no point. I think-" I look down at my feet. "We did the right thing breaking up. We're both different people now."

"You can't dismiss the time we spent together just like that." He reproches.

I narrow my eyes at him in annoyance. "Are you kidding? You're the one who cheated and was in bed with someone else the very next day." I shake my head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable."

He sighs in frustration. "I keep fucking up, don't I?"

"There's nothing to fuck up anymore, Brad. It's over. I think we owe it to ourselves to move on, don't you think?"

He shakes his head. "I'm always going to love you, Natalie. No matter how much time passes. You'll always be the one for me."

"Don't say that," I say shaking my head. "Just live your life, Brad. Do whatever you want. Be happy."

"I can only be happy with you."

"You wouldn't have cheated if you really meant that." I point out.

He reaches for my hand again. "Natalie, please, I'll do anything. Tell me, what would make you want to give me another chance?"

I shake my head. "Brad, don't do this to yourself." I put his hand in between mine and look into his eyes. "There is no going back. It's over between us. I hope that one day we can find some common ground and be friends but that is it. All I can offer is my friendship. I need you to understand that."