SLOW BURN

12. i want you

I leave before Josh and Crystal come back.

I tell myself that it's not because I'm jealous or angry but I know I'm lying to myself. It's really not fair to Josh for me to get mad about this that's why I leave. I only say goodbye to Mom and Louisa since Dad and Clint are not back then I sneak out after saying bye to Savannah before Brad sees me. I can't deal with him right now too.

I get to my apartment around six in the evening. Cassie is in the living room, watching T.V. I feel like I haven't seen her in months. It's so weird how you can live with someone and not see them for days.

"Hey." I try to smile as I shut the front door behind me.

"Hey," she says. "How's it going?"

"Good. Had a long weekend."

"In Newport?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"You're making me want to go. You go all the time."

"You should. It's so beautiful, you'd love it." I smile at her. "How have you been?"

She shrugs. "Good...I broke up with my boyfriend."

"Sorry to hear that."

"I don't really feel sad about it. I know it sounds bad." She looks at me. "It's so weird how you think you're going to be with someone forever and then love just dies."

I nod. "I know."

She studies me. "You've been doing alright?"

"Yeah. You know, keeping myself busy."

She doesn't need to know how I've been keeping myself busy. Not that I would tell her. It's already shameful enough.

"Maybe we should hang out this week, you know now that we're both single."

"That'll be nice," I say then sigh. "I'm going to take a long shower and get some sleep. I'm so tired."

She nods. "Okay."

I walk to my room and close the door. I drop my bags on the floor then head straight into the shower. I think about last night with Josh and that makes me feel better. I think about how it felt every time he touched me. I think about his lips, his body, his smile, his eyes. I am so into him it's kind of embarrassing. He's just so damn sexy and so handsome but he's also caring and gentle at the same time. It's the perfect combination. Thinking about him makes me miss him. Now I wish I would have waited to see him again before coming back to Portland earlier this afternoon. I decide to call him and I hurry out of the shower to do so.

I change into my pajamas and brush my hair quickly then grab my phone. I realize that I missed a call from him 15 minutes ago. I smile then call him back and bring the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

I smile at the sound of his voice. How is it possible to miss him so much already? I literally saw him this morning. "Hey, sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower."

"It's a good thing you called. I was about to leave."

I frown then look at the window. "Leave?"

"I'm in the parking lot. Can I come up?"

I bite my lip. "I wish you could but I'm not alone. My roommate is here. I'll be down in a bit, don't go."

He chuckles. "Alright."

I hang up the phone then reach for my white cardigan. I'm wearing my pajama shorts with a white blouse. I put on some sandals then peek my head out of my bedroom. Cassie is not in the living room anymore and I hurry out glad I don't have to make up some lie about going outside after I told her I was so very tired. I feel the anticipation of seeing Josh turn into butterflies in my stomach. I hurry out to the parking lot. It's dark and quiet, the streetlights are the only thing illuminating the cars. It takes me a moment to see Josh. He's leaning against his father's pickup truck. I smile when I see him and cross the lot.