Cold Heart

THIEF OR BLESSIND IN DISGUISE

One day, I was lying on my bed suffering from chicken fox. My feelings were totally unstable. I spent my two weeks just lying and taking numerous medicine with disgusting taste. I became bored staring at the four corners of my room. Nothing to do and I have no one to talk with. I was banned to read books, to watch television or even stayed outside. I thought this was the unfortunate and miserable thing that ever happen to me, but I'm wrong the worst was about to come.

Suddenly, my instinct nudge me to go in our terrace. I saw my mother happily talking with my sister. I was about to sit on the chair when I saw a black butterfly hovering around the garden. I stared blankly, I wasn't amaze anymore or I didn't enjoy the sight of the butterfly. I had the heavy feeling in my heart. I thought of someone dear to me. My mother called my name, but I became numb when I saw my cousin rushing in our house. He never visited us, so the sight of him rushing in our house delivered a great horror in me. My grandfather died, he didn't recover from his operation.

I stand firmly staring at the black butterfly as I convinced myself not to shed a tear and be strong for my mother because she seems to fall apart. We went to my grandfather's house. My hands were shaking, my hope was still up that this things were just a kind of joke. The pain I felt from the chicken fox drifted away and the pain I have in my heart lingers like a prick of a thousand needles.

I rushed in his room. I heard sobbed and loud cries from my relatives. I voluntarily cried as I saw his body lying still and breathless in the bed. I stared and cried for I can't do anything. I cursed the thief in disguise the death, it came without a warning, in a glimpse it took away the most precious person I had.

I left his room for I can't take the scene. This was the first time I encountered the thief in disguise, I wasn't used to it. As I was sitting on the living room, I heard my relatives talked about his life and their regrets for not showing their love. I smiled bitterly for I realized people only see the importance of someone if they were no longer with them. The bitterness of losing a loved one was nothing compared to the regrets they have that will hunt them forever. I wanted to shout unto their face, for they were a coward who hide their feelings.

As the funeral of my grandfather went on. I convinced myself that he was happily living in heaven with our Lord. The pain he experienced was over. He can just watch over me. The death of my grandfather made me strong and accept the fact that he needed to take a rest forever. I accepted it gladly, for I knew true love dies for its own need and if it meant to let him go. I must let him go and just let him live in my heart.

As a matter of fact, death was not a thief in disguise – it was a reminder for the people who continue to live to savor every moment and give importance to the people who still live with them. For death will come whoever and whenever you are. It will chase you no matter what, so live life to the fullest and love endlessly.

-Cthln (AMAZONA KAFAGWAY) 2019