STAY

Thirty Three

As I woke the next morning it took me a moment to realize why I felt so depressed. Then I remembered what had happened last night. I turned to find the bed empty. He was always awake before me, but he usually stayed in bed, trying to wake me up. I sat up pushing my hair out of my face yawning. Moments later he emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed and obviously going somewhere. "Morning" I said quietly. "Oh hey, good morning" he said giving me a tight smile. "What are you doing?" I asked curiously. "I've got a meeting with the director and writers, they just want me to go over some last minute script changes, I need to go over it so I'm prepared when we go back" he explained. I nodded. "Do you want me to come with you, since Emma isn't here?" I asked. "No, it's fine, you can have some free time. Do whatever you like. I'll see you later in the day" he said. With that, he picked up his phone sliding it into his pocket. "Bye Gigi" he said, I expected him to come over and kiss me goodbye. Instead he walked to the door of the room. "Oh, okay, bye" I said. He looked like he was about to say something but instead, gave me a nod and left. I heard the door to the apartment close and I exhaled frustratedly.
Well fuck, happy birthday to me.
*
I allowed myself a few tears in the shower and then forced myself to stop. It was my birthday and I was going to go out and have a nice time, even if it was by myself. I got dressed, grabbed my bag and headed out. I got a few text messages from people back home, wishing me a happy birthday. My mom and dad both called me, separately of course. My dad had wanted to send me a gift he'd told me, but didn't know where to send it. "It's okay, I don't really need anything" I said, sitting down to talk to him. "It's not a matter of needing anything, it's your birthday, I wanted to give you something" he said. "Well, save it and I'll come see you when I'm back home. You can give it to me in person" I said. "I'd like that, Genevieve are you okay?" he asked. "Yes of course, I'm fine, couldn't be better. I gotta go dad, I'm about to jump on The Tube" I said. "Okay, happy birthday" he said. "Bye dad" I said hanging up. It was a lie of course, I was sitting in Hyde Park feeding ducks. I just didn't feel like explaining why I sounded so miserable. My phone rang again, Jamie. I sighed and waited for it to ring out, I didn't answer. I'd never be able to hide my feelings from her and I just didn't feel like talking about it right now. I would call her back later. My phone rang yet again. This time it was Emma. "Happy Birthday Genevieve, I'm about to take off and remembered! Sorry!" she said in a cheery voice. "That's okay, thanks" I said. "Is Jared with you, is he in a better mood?" she said quietly. "He's not with me, he had a meeting. No, he's not in a better mood" I said sighing. "He's meeting you? Are you doing something nice?" she asked. "No, I don't actually think he knows" I said. "What?! Are you joking?! How could he not know?" she practically yelled. "I don't know, I never really told him and I mean how could he know" I said. "That's ridiculous" she scoffed. "It's fine, I don't care, it's not a big deal" I said calmly. "Yes it is ... oh sorry okay, shit I have to go" I had heard the hostess tell her they were about to start taking off. "It's okay, go, thanks, have a safe flight" I said. "Bye Genevieve, enjoy your day" she said quickly, hanging up. Shortly after I had decided to treat myself to high tea at The Ritz. I sipped my tea and took a photo of a very fancy looking cupcake and put it on my Snapchat story. But I was sad. God I hated feeling sorry for myself. My phone rang again, Jamie, I decided it best to answer. "Happy Birthday babe, what are you doing? I figured you were in bed earlier that's why you didn't answer" she said laughing. "Ah, thanks Jamie, I wasn't, I just missed the call, I was about to call you back" I said. "Wow, you're such a terrible liar, what the fuck is wrong?" she demanded. "Nothing, I'm great" I insisted. "Okay, that's a lie. I can hear it in your voice, what's wrong?" she said. I sighed, took a deep breath and blurted out the entire story, Jared telling me he loved me. The job offer and right up until this morning. "He ignored your birthday?! Oh my God what an asshole" she fumed. "No, no, I mean, he probably doesn't even know when it is, it's not his fault" I said quickly. "That's such bullshit, the man knows everything about you, how could he not know that" she snapped. "Do you love him?" she asked. I was silent, not sure what to say. "Well?" she prompted. "I'm not sure, I think, maybe I do. But how can I be sure, what if I just really like him, are you supposed to you know, be 100% sure? Is it like, no mistake I know it?" I said. "It's different for everyone, what you're feeling is scared. I can tell. Scared he'll treat you like an asshole. Gigi, you gotta take a chance, the risk is worth it, that's all I can tell you" she said gently. I nodded, "I gotta go, lots more shopping to do" I said trying to sound happy. "Ring me if you need to talk okay?" She said. "Yep, yep, okay. Thank you" I said gratefully. I hung up before I burst into tears. I realized I had missed her since I'd been away, my life had changed so dramatically. I needed her advice and reassurance now more than ever. I heard voices by the entrance and glanced up, my eyes widened in surprise. Jared was standing there, pointing at me to the waiter. The waiter nodded and held a hand up, obviously asking him to wait. Jared rolled his eyes looking annoyed, but waited as the waiter walked over to me. "Excuse me Miss, that gentleman would like to join you. Is it alright if I send him over?" he asked me quietly. "Yes of course, that's fine" I said nodding. "Very good" he said smiling. He walked back to Jared and beckoned him to follow. As Jared sat down the waiter asked if I'd like more tea. "Yes, thank you" I answered. "I was hoping you'd still be here" he said, he was slightly breathless, I assumed he had be rushing. "How did you know where I was?" I asked curiously. "Your snapchat" he said, "happy birthday Gigi, I'm ashamed to admit I didn't know, I'm sorry" he said honestly. Emma must have messaged him. He leaned over to kiss me, I turned quickly offering my cheek. "Wow, okay, you're mad?" He said frowning. The waiter arrived with more tea, setting it down and leaving us quickly. "No, I'm not mad" I said quietly. I poured him some tea and then poured some for myself. Looking away as I sipped. "Gigi, you're not even looking at me, turn around, now" he said, there was an edge to his tone. I turned my head slowly, meeting his eyes. I remained silent. "I'm sorry, I don't know what more you would like me to say" he said. "It's okay" I said simply. "Obviously it's not, I can tell you're pissed" he said. "I'm not, I'm not pissed about that. I could care less, I'm not self a centered person who imagines the world revolves around them. You didn't know, it was an honest mistake, I, don't, care. What I'm pissed about, is that you froze me out, last night and this morning. You didn't hear what you wanted to hear, so you sulked. Well I'm sorry, things are not so black and white with me, I need time. I need to ... think things through. Our, relationship, has been something I've never ever experience before. Both physically and mentally. So many things I've had to get my head around, I've had to navigate my feelings and emotions .... it has never been a conventional relationship. I worked, I should say work for you. Then we got together, then ... your brother, it's all been so confusing. You have made the rules and set the pace and I have just gone with it all ..." he put up a hand to stop me. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to let me continue. He took his time answering, obviously thinking carefully about his reply. Finally he spoke, "I did sulk, you're right, I wanted you to answer me immediately and we both know what I wanted to hear. I really felt like we both felt the same way" he said. I nodded. "I have very very strong feelings for you. I know that. I just need time to process those feelings. I don't want to make a mistake. I'm just, well the future scares me. What happens when this is over, how do we ... I mean, what comes next? Being together all the time is intense and I like it. I'm not sure how I'll cope when we get home" I admitted in a whisper. "Things don't have to change, we can be together all the time" he said. "You know that's unrealistic, you have a hectic life and there may not be a place for me in it" I said. "That's not true, things will change but you are in my life, that will not change" he insisted. I nodded, "I want that too" I said truthfully. He nodded, exhaling and running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying not to think too far ahead" he said. We sat in silence for a little while. Our feelings out on the table so to speak. "I'm going shopping" I said finally. He looked up surprised, "I'll come with you" he said. I shook my head, "no, it's okay, I'd rather be alone, I'd prefer not to attract any attention" I said sighing. "Too bad, get used to it, I'm coming" he said sharply. I have a little growl of annoyance. I made to take my wallet out of my bag and it was his turn to growl, "don't even think about it" he warned. He grabbed a card out of his bum bag, looking to the waiter and beckoning him over. He gave him his card and grinned at me. When the waiter returned his card he stood up and moved out of the booth. "Come on" he urged. I sighed yet again and got up following him out. "Don't act so annoyed, I'll start to think you don't like my company" he said as we walked out. My head whipped around and I stopped walking, "no, you know that's not true. I love being with you" I said frowning. He turned stopping as well, "I love, being with you" he said kissing me gently. I finally smiled and we kept walking. It was busy, people were Christmas shopping and just shopping in general. London always seemed to be extra busy. Jared was a nightmare. Wanting to buy everything I laid a finger on. We were in Selfridges, I was being careful not to grab anything, I was just looking. "Are you going to buy anything?" he asked exasperated. "I don't know, I haven't seen anything I really like just yet" I said shrugging. "Put your glasses on, people are taking photos of you" I murmured, noticing a girl trying to subtly take a photo with her phone. "This is nice, how about some lingerie, I don't think I've ever bought you anything" he said, ignoring my comments and picking up the tee I had been looking at. "I can buy my own things, and yes you have, you bought me this" I said patting the Gucci belt bag I had. "That doesn't count, they give me things" he said. "I don't think I want anything" I said. "Jesus Gigi, can you buy something" he said exasperatedly. "No, I'm not going to buy something just to make you happy" I said stubbornly. I walked over to the lingerie and started looking at bras and thongs. I picked up a few to look at them. Pretty lacy ones, barely there ones, some with barely a crotch. Gorgeous, silky, see through, so many to choose. "Just buy one of each" he said raising an eyebrow. I picked up a barely there one and held it against me, "what do you think?" I asked innocently. "Why are you doing this to me? All I can imagine is you in it and me ripping it off" he groaned quietly. I almost giggled. "I'll think about it" I said. "Are you fucking kidding?" he said incredulously. My eyes widened as I watched him start picking up things. Bras, singlets, thongs. He hadn't even looked at the sizes, he had just grabbed random ones. Then he took hold of my hand and started pulling me towards a sales girl. "Where are the change rooms?" he asked her smiling. She turned, shock and recognition lighting up her face, "uh, uh, just over there" she stammered, pointing to the change rooms. "Thanks" he said, "let me know if I can be of assistance" she called out as he dragged me off. "Sure thing" he answered over his shoulder. "Can you stop dragging me along" I hissed. He ignored me, pulling me into a change room and locking the door behind him. I watched curiously as he threw the clothes onto a chair in the corner and rounded on me. Pushing me up against the mirrored wall, his lips were suddenly on mine, his tongue dipping into my mouth. Greedily searching for mine, I was breathless, it was an unexpected turn of events. "We shouldn't ..." I tried to whisper, but his lips, which had been kissing my throat momentarily, came back to mine again, effectively shutting me up. One hand was tangled in my hair and the other was around my throat lightly, holding me still. His lips left mine and he trailed kisses along my neck, just below my ear. "You shouldn't tease me like that" he murmured. I tried to nod, but his hand tightened, making it almost impossible for me to move my head. "Now we don't have a lot of time, but I need to fuck you, right, now. Kick off your shoes" he breathed in my ear. I gasped, a thrill ran through me!! But what if we got caught?! It was probably illegal, not to mention if someone heard us and it went viral! Oh my God!! But even as these thoughts ran through my head, my center clenched and I was suddenly desperate for his touch. I did as he instructed. Without warning, his hands let go of me and were undoing the button on my jeans. Pulling them down my thighs and off, taking my panties along with them. As he stood up his hand dipped between my legs, strong fingers sliding into my folds. "Gigi ..." he groaned softly, pleased with my response as he felt my desire, the pad of his finger circling my clit, causing me to writhe beneath his touch. His lips were on mine again. I pushed myself into his hand wantonly, shamelessly. But to my dismay he took it away, he was biting at my lips as my hands gripped his hair, not wanting to part for even a moment. Quickly he pulled down his pants, just far enough to allow his cock spring free. His hands gripped my thighs, lifting me off the floor and wrapping them around his waist. His hand reaching down and in a very impressive, almost acrobatic move, he managed to lower me slightly, while guiding himself into my tightness. I exhaled as he filled me completely, I could feel every ridge, every vein as my walls enveloped him, we stood still for a few moments. His lips were against my throat, soft kisses peppering the sensitive skin. Then he slowly started to move, his fingers digging into my skin, holding me tight. My breathing rapid as his movements became faster, driving into me, harder, long hard thrusts. Deeper each time as I was so slick, I cried out unable to stop myself, the pleasure was so intense. "Shhh.." he growled covering my mouth with his, I let out another small moan, thankfully muffled. Suddenly we both froze as we heard a knock on the door, "Are you okay for sizes miss?" said a helpful voice. My eyes flashed open, "answer her" he hissed. Shit!! I was incoherent!! I opened my mouth, forcing myself to talk, "ah, yes, I'm fine, thank you" I called out. "Just ring the bell if you need assistance" she replied. "Sure, thanks" I managed to stammer. "Look" he whispered. I turned my head, glancing at the mirrored wall to the side of us. It was, the most tantalizing sight I'd ever seen. Naked from the waist down, my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, red marks where his fingers were gripping me. His pants halfway down his legs, his perfect round ass clenched, the muscles perfectly defined. Our eyes met in the mirror and I felt my pussy throb, a surge of heat lancing through me. He felt my reaction and he raised an eyebrow in amusement. We waited a couple of beats then he thrust into me again, hard. I gripped his arms tightly, "oh God, fuck" I breathed as softly as I could. I watched for as long as I could before the wave overtook me, my body shuddering as I fell over the edge. His tongue thrust into my mouth in an attempt to silence me. I bit down hard on his lip, this was all he needed, the pain pulling him to his own climax, he thrust up into me roughly a few more times. I felt him trembling as he let go. Finally stilling, his forehead leaning on the mirror next to me head. I turned breathlessly, kissing his cheek tenderly. "That was amazing" I breathed. "It was, but we don't have time to savor it, she's going to come knocking again any minute" he said. I exhaled nodding. He pulled out of me slowly, setting me down on the floor. I quickly pulled my clothes on, trying to ignore the mess he had created between my legs. "You're a mess" he said echoing my thoughts, grinning as he pulled up his pants. "I'm looking squarely at the culprit" I said haughtily. "Okay, we gotta get out of here as quietly as possible" he said carefully opening the door. I stepped out first, grabbing the clothes that hadn't even been looked at. We were safe, there was no one in the change area. But as we stepped back out onto the main floor, we spotted three sales girls standing around trying to look as though they were busy. "Oh shit" I groaned quietly, "don't worry, you were trying stuff on and I was waiting" he said nonchalantly. We walked over to the counter and he grabbed everything in my hands and smiled at the sales girl, "ah she'll take this" he said handing over his card. She smiled eagerly at him, handing him the bag and finally asking if she could have a selfie. He happily obliged then he took my hand leading me through the store to the exit. As soon as we got out onto the street I let out a relieved sigh. "I wonder if they heard us?" I said, he turned to look at me and burst out laughing. "Happy Birthday Baby you're about to be famous" he said kissing me long and hard in the middle of Oxford Street.
Oh shit.