STAY

Eighty One

I was struggling to control my emotions and failing. "Gigi, it's only for a couple of weeks, it's not that long. You can come with me" said Jared. I shook my head, "I can't, I can't travel with the baby. She's only 3 months old, I can't take her on a plane and live in a hotel. It's just not practical" I said sadly. He had just told me he had to go to Italy and London, for work obviously. But the thought of being away from him was almost too much to bear. Since having the baby I had become even more anxious than usual, I barely left the house unless it was with Jared. I felt happy and safe at home, but the thought of going out, even to the market, filled me with dread. "I'll ask Caroline to come and stay with you" he said. "No, she's done enough for me" I said shaking my head. He exhaled, "you could go stay with them, I'll fly to New York with you, then go on to Rome" he suggested. I shook my head slowly, "I'll be fine, we'll be fine" I said, not even trying to hide my sadness. "Genevieve, we talked about this. We knew it was going to happen sooner or later" he said carefully. My head snapped up, "I'm not an idiot, I know. I don't need a babysitter Jared" I said a little sharply. I turned on my heel and walked out, "Gigi, come back" he called out after me. I walked down the stairs away from his studio office and headed up to our bedroom. I walked in quietly, sneaking a peek at Isabella, she was sound asleep. I sighed, she was such a good baby. Thank God, if she had been difficult, coupled with my anxiety, I would have been a mess. I picked up a basket of fresh laundry and started to fold it. Miles, my therapist, had reassured me that I would start feeling better, I was tired and that wasn't helping my anxiety. I knew this was going to happen, I knew he was going to have to leave eventually. I had just gotten so comfortable in our little cocoon, but now reality was intruding. I finished packing everything away just in time, she started to rouse. My heart soared as I picked her up, kissing her cheeks over and over. She wriggled and smiled at me, her little hands waving around excitedly. She had a shock of fluffy dark hair, her eyes were a stunning blue, she was exactly like her father. I hugged her to my chest and walked downstairs. I heard Jared talking on the phone, he was standing in the living room. He smiled at me as I walked past, I looked away continuing into the kitchen. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at the situation. He could never sit still, he always needed to be busy. Always chasing something, working on something. Even when he wasn't working he was somehow working, it was exhausting to watch him. I secretly feared one day he was going to forget about me, or we wouldn't be important enough to him anymore. I shook my head at the thought and got Isabella's bottle ready. "Hey Gigi, how is my favorite niece?" I heard Shannon's voice as he entered the kitchen. "Hey, when did you get here?" I said smiling. He enveloped us both in a hug, kissing my cheek. "Let me take her" he said, gently plucking her out of my arms. "Just got off the plane" he said, kissing Isabella lovingly. She squealed and wriggled at seeing the now familiar face, giving him a smile. "Aww you're beautiful" he said holding her to his chest. "Gigi, she gets more adorable every time I see her" he grinned. I nodded, "I know, isn't she perfect?" I sighed. "Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you" I added. "Work, I was summoned by my brother" he said rolling his eyes. I nodded knowingly, "but I don't mind so much, I get to see this little cherub" he said kissing her head. "Well, it's nice to see you too" said Jared coming in. "You called, I came. I'm here" said Shannon brusquely. "Did I pull you away from something?" asked Jared curiously. "Yeah you did actually, I'm working on a few things. I have a life away from you" said Shannon. Jared raised an eyebrow, "well I'm sorry, I just wanted to get a few things sorted before I leave" he said. My face dropped at his words, "come on Isabella" I said, needing to escape the room before I completely broke down. "Let me give it to her" said Shannon, oblivious of the riot going on inside me. "Ah, you can cuddle her after, you should probably ... go and see what Jared wants" I said. "He can wait, this is more important" he said grinning and reaching out to me for the bottle. I exhaled nodding and handing it to him, "okay, here you go, I'll just go grab her blanket" I said, leaving them both standing there, Shannon finally looked a little perplexed.