imagine cody using fig jelly every time you had sex with him. he used it as a condom, as lube, and so much more. today, you've taken a pregnancy test. it was positive. you are going to have to explain to cody that fig jelly doesn't work as a form of protection. when he gets home from centipede-killing, you give him a jar of fig jelly and sit him down in the living room. he begins to eat the jelly with his fingers. "cody...i'm pregnant," you say, your voice filled with sorrow. his eyes widen, and he throws his jar of fig jelly at you. cody lets out a demonic screech before ripping up the floorboards and digging straight down to hell, despite the fact that the number one rule of minecraft is don't dig straight down. you never see him again. eight months later, you give birth alone. your child is bright blue, and you name it fig jelly. you haven't seen cody since he left, but you can only guess he's eating fig jelly with satan in hell.
