"Avoid me if you want but I know that your heart belongs to me. Don't keep on fooling yourself, you know you love me as I do."
She wants him far away and the lace they had before is broken for her, but he will do his best to get her back... until he...
I got notified this morning that Marisa passed away during her sleep, and today's noon is going to be her funeral which I won't assist. Unfortunately, Jaehyun, Hansol and Ellie agreed that for now, Taeyun doesn't need more difficulties in her life; I agree with them in all the ways, I mean, she has to do a lot of things and leave others aside.
Following the events, I decided to make maybe a dumb decision but the best one for the current situation; I told my father that I will return to Osaka for a period of time, then I'll talk with my label which now I'm in as a trainee, and come back to Seoul when the time has passed by. I don't know, it sounds kind of mad and maybe not well thought at all but I don't have any more ideas.
As I kept on thinking about the things I should do or that I shouldn't, my phone started to ring. I picked it up and answered Hansol's call.
-If you want me to meet you at night, I won't – I said while sitting on the edge of my bed.
-Not tonight, Yuta, you are lucky because of that – Hansol spoke.
-I want to talk about your decision – He admitted.
-I'm all ears, to be honest, I don't know what to do – I said while laying down my back against the mattress.
-Well, in two hours is the funeral and according to Jae, she isn't looking good at all – Hansol said.
-I mean, how could she? Either way, I don't think is good if you go now – He told.
-I know she's having a hard time; I am having one too – I admitted.
-Her mother was like my mother throughout all these years – I sighed.
-Both of you need each other, nobody else that you two can understand how is to lose a mother, and someone so close – Hansol spoke.
-Listen, I know you are tired of waiting and handle her attitude but, can't you wait a little longer? – Hansol asked.
-I-I don't know, I mean, I'm lost too – I stuttered before taking a deep breath.
-I've never felt this weak, and I definitely thought I could ever be so patient with someone who's always thinking the worse about me – I said.
-You are doubting about her feelings for you, right? – He questioned.
-To be honest; yes, I am – I admitted.
-I'm sorry, but even Marisa agreed with me, and I'm tired, Hansol – I said while grabbing my hair frustrated.
-Then, should I wish you a good flight? – Hansol asked.
-I think so, thanks for everything, buddy – I told.
-No problem, you know I'll always be here when you need me – Hansol said, sounding sadder.
-I love you, and take care – I said while releasing a settle smile.
-Take care, Yuta – Hansol said before ending the call.
After the call was over, I placed my phone against my hands and screamed in frustration. Then I looked around and went towards my closet, I stared at it and then took a deep breath.
*AFTERNOON*
Marisa's funeral is now over, and I regret not going even though Taeyun was there too. Now, I lost my second mother, if I could say it that way since my real mother hasn't shown some interest in me after coming back to Seoul.
All day long I've been walking around Seoul, seeing every place I could, every alley I know, and all my favourites places I enjoy to visit often. It felt like a goodbye, it felt somehow as an eternal "see you later", and I didn't like it at all. But when I got tired of just being outside, I returned to my house and started to look around it, until, I sat down on the couch of the living room and started to watch videos and photos on my phone.
The hours passed since I started to watch videos of all my friends, Taeyun and I, and even some photos we took in these months I stayed. Some tears dropped here and there, I laughed at Hansol's silliness and my own.
I just remembered the things I lived in.
Right now, I made up my mind and decided to take a step back to Osaka, and hope for the best once I return. At this moment, I'm putting my clothes inside my luggage while I'm listening to Marisa's words wandering inside my head.
I shouldn't feel bad by leaving, after all, I waited for her for more than one month. Is that egoist from my part?
Before I could think more, my phone rang which made my thoughts disappear. I left my folded shirt inside my luggage before answering the phone call, it was my mom.
-Hey mom, are you waiting for me already? – I asked as I kept placing my things inside the luggage.
-Actually, I wanted to talk about that with you, can I? – She questioned.
-Of course – I said.
-I-I don't think you should return to Osaka, son – My mother stuttered.
-Why? – I asked surprised.
-Hmm, I talked with your father and I asked him how everything went when he was there with you at Seoul – My mother explained.
-He said that you were happy there and that you are very excited to follow your dreams, plus, my boy, you are in love – My mother said happily.
-Mom, I have you and dad over there, I have my family and some friends too. I think I'll be alright – I told.
-Are you sure? Why did you change your opinion? – She asked.
-Stuff happened, and I think is better if I leave – I admitted.
-Alright, I guess is your decision, and I'll respect it – My mother said.
-Thank you, mother, I'll tell you if something changes – I spoke.
-I hope it does, and follow your heart. I know it sounds odd coming from me, but you showed me that you truly love that girl; if something bad happened in between you two, I know it has a solution – My mother said, trying to cheer me up.
-Thank you, mom but I know what path to take, now – I sighed.
-Don't regret it, and I hope you have a save flight – My mom told.
-Thanks, see you at home, I guess – I smiled.
-Take care, son – My mom said before ending the call.
It seems that today is the day of messing up with Yuta's head, huh?
I finally placed my things inside my luggage, and it seems everything is in order for me to leave this place. So, I took my things and started to go downstairs to my car.
I still love you more than anything, Taeyun... I'm sorry I have to go but, I don't want to suffer anymore.
