The Blue Queen

Chapter 17

Anna

My mind is in a fog, my mind cannot process things as it did; I sleep for hours and cry silently if I am awake, staring out of the window.

I do not know how many days have passed anymore. I sleep too much to care. Ruby tries to get me to eat more and I try also, but it wakes me up and I feel the fear I did that night, I feel dirty again and I start crying.

"Should I run you a bath? You mumbled you said you felt dirty." She says. The tears come again and I shake my head.

"Do not waste clean water on me." I say quietly before turning away from the window, wanting to sleep again.

"I'll put some lavender in the water again if you'd like." Ruby says. "You are not a waste of water Anna." She says sincerely.

"Do you promise?" I whisper.

"I do. I promise on my life." She says confidently. I smile at her and nod.

"A bath would be nice." I say quietly. She smiles and walks out again. I take one of my pillows and I hold it against me. How I wish I was holding Harry; I just can't bring myself to do it, I don't even really know why, I simply can't.

Ruby takes me to my bath and leaves me alone since I can move on my own now my muscles have soothed. I close my eyes as I smell lavender for the first time in what feels like forever. Tears roll down my cheeks as I relax. I didn't realise how tense and stressed I was. I guess it is my brain not processing things that caused it.

"Anna?" Ruby asks as she comes back in.

"Yes?" I ask, turning to look at her. I wipe my eyes and she smiles softly.

"You look a little better." She says.

"I feel a little better; I didn't realise how tense I was." I explain. She smiles and sits with me again, washing my hair carefully still. "How is Harry?" I ask nervously.

"He is very worried. Yesterday a few councilmen came to discuss his coronation but he says he won't do anything without you." She says.

"What about my father and sister?" I ask, holding back tears.

"They are still in the tower. Harry doesn't want to do anything without discussing it with you." She says. I nod and play with a lavender stem. I have no idea what I want to do concerning my father and sister. I do not want to hurt them, but I don't want them anywhere near me. "You seem much better now Anna." Ruby says.

"I suppose I am." I say. "My mother did say lavender cures everything." I tell her with a growing smile. I just wish the only family that I think loved me was alive. The door is knocked and Ruby goes to answer the door. When she comes back she seems nervous.

"You have visitors." She says.

"I can't see Harry. Not yet." I say.

"It is not Harry." She says. I am confused but I nod and she dries my hair as well as she can before dressing me. I walk back to my room nervously but the scent of lavender is still lingering. It seems to get stronger as I enter my room.

"Cara?" I ask as I see the bright red hair. She smiles at me and I run to her, wrapping my arms around her, beginning to cry happily. She still smells like lavender, so much.

"You've grown." She smiles happily, wiping the tears from my face before looking me over. "You look so strong yet so broken." She says sadly. I smile sadly and she just holds me again, rubbing my back.

"Do I get a hug too?" Abbán asks. I look back at him and jump into his awaiting arms. He seems so much stronger now.

"Why are you here?" I ask them as I let go of Abbán. "What about your wife?" I ask Abbán.