Pillow Talk

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

After Happy saying he wanted his girl back, I explained to him that I needed time to think. I wasn't just going to jump back in and him think that everything is fine when it isn't. He tells me he understands and we get up and ready for the day. Walking up to the bar, TO hands me a cup of coffee and Quinn walks over. "Morning Rane." I say. "Morning Mira. Ready to head home?" he asked. "Yeah. Think I'm gonna go visit Koz." I say. "You only visit him when your brain is in overdrive. What's up?" he asked. "Hap says he wants to be with me." I tell him. "And you don't?" he asked. "I do but just don't know if I can go through that again. I don't know if I can really trust him again." I say. He nods and I finish my coffee before heading out the door.

Walking through the cemetery, I put flowers on the graves of Tara, Opie, Donna and Jax. I walk over to the military section and place flowers on the graves of JT, Half-Sack and Piney before finding my best friend's grave. I put the flowers down and sit, leaning against his headstone. "Hey Hermy." I say as I lean back against the cold stone. I used to lean against him all the time when we would talk about shit. "I finally came home and realize just how much I miss you. I need you right now, Koz. Shit's so fucked up and I don't know what to do. I left because he abandoned me after I lost the baby. Now that I'm back he has gone from treating me like the shit on the bottom of his shoe to sleeping in my bed like he's trying to protect me. He is so fucking confusing. I don't know if I can handle it again. What if he abandons me again? I can't go through that again." I say to the stone, trying to work my thoughts out. After an hour of sitting there and thinking, I get up and decide that I don't want to get hurt again and he needs to know that before we get into anything.

I pull into the lot at the clubhouse and I asked Rat where Happy was. "In his dorm I think." he says. I thank him and head towards the door. It was unlocked and I opened it but didn't expect to see what was happening. He was laying on the bed and a croweater was sucking him off. He opens his eyes and looks at me and pushes the croweater away. I turn and run out the door with him following me, calling my name. I get to my car and he grabs my arm. I pull away from him and say "Get the fuck away from me. You tell me you want to be with me and then I walk into that shit? Fuck you Happy. Stay the fuck away from me." I tell him. I get in my car and leave.

I get to Quinn's house and start packing my shit. Quinn walks in and asked where I'm going. "I need to get out of here for a few days." I say. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I don't know. I'll check in with you and my brother though." I say as I grab my bag and walk out the door to my car. "What happened Mira?" he asked. "Happy happened. Tells me this morning he wants to be with me and then I walk in this afternoon to him getting his dick sucked by a fucking croweater. I don't know if I am coming back but if not, I'll send for my things." I tell him, getting into my car and pulling out of the driveway.

I didn't stop until I reached Tacoma. I knew I had enough clothes for at least a week. I pull up to the old house that we still owned for when we visited and unlocked the door. I walk in and sit down on the couch and just cry. My phone had been going off and I had been ignoring it. I look and see text messages from Happy, Quinn, my brother and Venus. Ignoring the messages, I call Venus. "Hey V. You alone?" I asked. "I am. Where are you?" she asked. "I can't tell you. I don't think I'm coming back this time." I tell her. "What happened?" she asked. "After telling me he wanted to be with me, I walked in on him with a croweater. I can't do this. Please tell my brother and Quinn that I will send for my things when I figure out what I am doing?" I plead. "Of course. Please check in with me and let me know you are okay." she says. "Of course." I say before ending the call.

An hour later, there was a knock at the door. Knowing that no one knows I am here, I get my gun out of my purse and look out the peephole. I see Lee, Tacoma's president. I open the door and let him in. "How'd you know I was here?" I asked. "Your brother called and wanted me to see if you had come here." he says. "You tell him yet?" I asked. "No. But you need to tell me what's going on." he says. I look at him and sigh. Sitting down next to me, he waits on me to start. "You remember when I left Charming last time?" I asked. "Yeah, your brother was freaking out." he says. "Well, for a few months before that, I was messing around with Happy. He had to take me to the ER one night and we found out that I was having a miscarriage. I guess he freaked and he started acting like I didn't exist and flaunting croweaters in front of me so I left." I tell him. Lee looks at me shocked. "I didn't know I was pregnant. Neither did Happy. So, I left. I came back a couple of weeks ago and he was treating me like shit. Acting like he hated me and like I was a piece of shit. Then, I was attacked a few nights ago. He barely left my side. Sleeping next to me so that I could actually sleep. Making sure I was okay. He told me this morning that he wanted to be with me and that he wanted me back. This afternoon, I walk in on him with a croweater. So I left again. I won't be here long. Just a few days until I figure out my next step." I tell him. "You call me if you need anything."