Pillow Talk

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next morning, we get up and check out of the hotel. Happy carries my bag to the car, Xander gets in the driver's seat and me in the passenger. Quinn walks over and hands me a cup of coffee, knowing I can't function without it. "Thanks." is the only thing I say. He pats my shoulder and shuts the car door and we head back to Charming. I tense up when I see the Welcome to Charming sign. Xander grabs my hand and says "It's gonna be okay." I just nod my head and pull my hand away. We pull into the driveway at Quinn's and we all walk inside. I don't say anything to anyone. I walk into my bedroom and close the door.

A few minutes later, I hear my brother and Happy leave and Quinn knocks on the bedroom door before coming in. Sitting on the bed next to me, he says "You know you can talk to me." I just nod. "Talk. We aren't leaving this room until you talk to me. What the hell was that all about Mira?" he asked softly. "I couldn't do it anymore. All I could think about was how much I love him and want to be with him and wondering why he didn't love me back." I tell him. "You know he loves you. He's just a dumb bastard." he tells me. "I know. He took me into the bathroom last night talk and wants me to let him prove it to me. I want to let him in so bad but I can't because I know he will hurt me again. That's why I left. I didn't want to be here with him anymore." I say. "Yeah but you don't have protection if you leave." he says. "So staying here and getting my heart broken is the better solution?" I asked. He just pulled me to him and says "I promise it will get better." I just sit there. I don't know what else to do.

A week has gone by and I have not left the house. I don't answer calls from anyone. Happy comes by every day to bring me something to eat and sits with me for a while. He usually comes by after work. I hear a knock on the door and I know it's Happy. I open the door and he walks in carrying a bag of food. He walks to the couch and I go to the kitchen and grab a beer and a bottled water. Walking back to the couch, I hand him his beer and he grabs the burgers and onion rings out of the bag. Grabbing the remote, he turns on a movie and we sit in silence for a while. "How you feeling?" he asked finally. "I'm okay I guess." I answer. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked. Happy doesn't talk about feelings. "What is there to talk about?" I asked. "Us. There's a party at the clubhouse tomorrow night and I want you to come, with me." he says. "I don't know." I say. "Then how about you let me take you out somewhere, just us." he says. I look at him and sigh. "Yeah. Okay." I say. I lean back farther into the couch and he pulls my feet into his lap and starts rubbing my feet. I must have dozed off because next thing I know I feel someone picking me up and carrying me. "Shh. I got you little girl." he tells me softly. Putting me down on the bed, he tucks me in and kisses my lips softly. "Sleep good babe. Love you." he says before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

I get up the next morning and still can't get out of this funk. I get up and before I can get to the kitchen, there's a knock on the door. Looking out the peephole I see Happy. I roll my eyes and open the door. "Morning babe." he says before walking in. "Morning." I say, following him to the kitchen. "Thought you'd like breakfast." he said, handing me a muffin and a coffee. I take it and we sit at the table. "What are you planning today?" he asked. "Nothing but hanging out here until time to leave with you tonight." I say. "Good, I have an entire day planned for us." he says. I look at him and asked "I thought we weren't going out until tonight?" He smirks and says "Well, you haven't been out of the house since we got back and I thought we could have an all day date." I look at him and say "Date huh?" He leans over and kisses me softly and says "Yeah, date. Now go get showered and dressed." I get up and head to the shower. I get dressed in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, my riding boots that Xander got me for Christmas a couple of years ago and a black tank top and my black Reaper jacket that Koz got me for my birthday the year before he died. Walking out to the living room, Happy stands and pulls me to him. "You look amazing, babe." I don't say anything. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but I just don't think he has changed.

We pull out of the driveway and head out of Charming. We ride until we get to Bakersfield. I see the sign and I know where he's taking me. We pull up to a little house, that has a screened in front porch and still has his mom's flower beds filled with her favorite flowers. I get off the bike and take off my helmet while he does the same. We walk up to the house and through the front door and I realize I miss his mom. I used to come here all the time things were getting bad. Xander used to tell me that I needed some Momma Lowman time and he was right. Anytime something went wrong, I came to her. It's only fitting that he brings me here. I feel a tear fall down my cheek as he walks up to me and pulls me to him. "I really am so sorry little girl. I don't want to lose you." he tells me. I pull away from him and sit down on the old couch that was still comfortable even after all these years. He sits beside me and I lean into his side. "You know, I used to talk to her about you." I say.

"Really? What about me?" he asked. "She knew I loved you. She would always say that one day you would get your head out of your ass and realize you love me." I tell him. I sit up and look at him. "You keep saying you love me. But how can I believe you?" I asked. "Mira, I was a dumbass. You know when I gave you that ring?" he asked and I start playing with the ring he's talking about. "Yeah. You gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday and said that if I ever doubted your feelings for me, to look at this ring and I would know." I say. "That still stands. When we lost the baby, I pushed you away. I know I did. And this time, I fucked up with that gash but baby, please, if you never believe anything else that comes out of my mouth, believe that I love you. I love you more than anything." he tells me. "You know why I kept the house after Ma died?" he asked. "Why?" I asked. "Because I promised Ma that I would marry you someday and wanted to be able to give you a house, a home, that's just ours." he says. "Happy..." I start and he interrupts me. "Mira, I love you. I have always loved you. When you are ready and if you ever feel you can forgive me and be with me, I still want to give you those things. The crow, the marriage, the kids, all of it." he says and I feel more tears running down my face. He pulls me close and kisses me softly and I whisper, "Just give me time."

We talk a little more before we leave the house and head to get something to eat. We pull into this little diner and I feel like I've been here before. "Hap? Why does this place look familiar?" I asked. "Tig and Koz used to bring you here when you were a kid. When they first started bringing you around the club." he says and I remember. "Holy shit. I wonder if it's still here?" I asked. "What?" he asked as I am walking to the edge of the building to the bench. Looking at the bench, I look at the back of it and see our initials still carved into it. I take out my phone and take a picture. Hap looks and asked "What's that?" I smile the first smile I have in a while and say "The last time we were here, we all carved our initials into the back of this bench." I say. "Why?" he asked, curious. "Because I told them I wanted to 'leave my mark' and you know they let me do pretty much anything I wanted back then." I tell him. He smiles back at me and I take one more picture and send it to my brother. He texted me back once we were inside and asked, That's still there. Fuck. and all I can do is laugh.

After we eat, we head back home. We walk into the house and I turn on a movie. I doze off, this time, laying against him. He picks me up and carries me to bed like he did before. Tucking me in, he kisses me softly and I whisper, "Stay? Please?" He gets undressed to his boxers and gets into the bed and pulls me into his side. "Night little girl. I love you." he says. "You too Hap." I say. I still can't say it but I still feel it.