For Your Eyes Only

Chapter 17

Parker POV
It's so nice to be home. I didn't even know I missed it so much until I walked through the door. Mama Rose was sitting at the kitchen table looking over paperwork when I walked in. I immediately ran to her and wrapped my arms around her. She turns around and hugs me tight. "I know baby. I know." It was all she had to say. I already felt better.
Mama Rose had cooked all of mine and Harper's favorites and we ate while we told her the story of our two weeks away. As soon as I was done eating I realized I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Harper left to go home and I went to bed.
I slept for almost 19 hours. I don't even think I turned over once. I didn't realize how tired I was until I got in my own bed. I have
about a week before my passport is ready so I decide to try to be as normal as possible and maybe the time will pass quickly.
I woke up to several text from all the guys.
Liam: "We got home safely. Harry slept most of the plane ride. Management is setting him up an appointment to start physical therapy soon. Will keep you updated."
Niall: "I got Harry some Nando's. Wish you were here. Tell Harper I said hi!"
Louis: "Sorry for not saying goodbye. I don't like all the fuss. See you soon."
Harry: " I miss you."
I message them all back; telling them that we got home safely as well and I was ready to see them too. It's weird how much a part of my life they all became so quickly.
I go down to the diner and start helping out. The routine of it all is so ingrained in me that it's like I never left. I have almost all the prep work for the next two days done before I realize it. Jaime walks in and gives me a big smile. We talked the whole time I was gone but it was always brief messages of small talk or him asking questions about something he can't find in the pantry. We haven't really talked about US since the first night we went out. I liked the way things were going between us. There was no pressure; it was nice. I'm nervous about telling him about England. I don't know why I haven't said anything yet. I guess I'm afraid he will be upset that I'm going across the world to help nurse my ex back to health. When I say it like that I can see where he has a right to be upset.
"Hey" I say when he walks over and hugs me.
"Hey yourself" Jaime replies as he kisses me on the cheek. Even after the last few weeks it still takes me by surprise.
Before I change my mind I ask "Would you like to go somewhere later?"
"Sure. I can try to switch shifts and get off earlier if you want." he says with a smile.
"No that's fine. We can just take a walk or something when your done." I see the look in his eyes and feel even more guilty about the conversation we're about to have.
I stay through the dinner rush and help clean up. With my help were done almost an hour early and everyone leaves. After a full days work I'm exhausted. I can't believe I'm so out of shape after only two weeks. I wonder what it will be like coming back from England. I have no idea how long I'll be gone.
Jaime walks over; his shirt rides up his stomach as he takes off his apron and I get a
nice view for a second. He takes my hand and brings me to him and softly kisses my lips. His eyes are slightly closed when he pulls away and says "Are you ready for that walk?"
I slouch my shoulders and say "Do you mind to just stay here. Today kicked my butt."
Jaime gets a soppy grin on his face when he says "That sounds good." He goes to pull me into another kiss but I turn my head.
"We should talk." I say. "I'm leaving in a week to go to England. The boys have a house they are staying at while Harry recovers and he asked me to come. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I just wanted you to know."
I can feel the waves of anger coming off Jaime as he all but screams at me "Your leaving again. You just got home. Why are you going?
What can you do for him that no one else can?
Are you trying to get back with him? Is it's a publicity stunt so you can be his next beard? I guess the next step will be to actually marry him. Well that works out for you cause you don't have to stay around here anymore."
I know he's made and that he has a right to be on a certain level but he took it far. I feel my own anger start to rise when I say "No I'm not trying to get back with him. How can you even ask that? I'm going because he is a friend that needs me. If it were you I would go for you. I'll be home for good as soon as he's better. His managers have already released statements saying the fiancé thing was a lie."
Before I get done speaking I'm yelling just as loudly as Jaime and I don't care who can hear when I say "I don't know why you're so mad. You and I aren't together so I'm free to do whatever I want."
Suddenly Jaime gets perfectly still. He looks at me coldly as says "Well I guess the answer is that I thought we were together but I guess I was wrong." With that he turns and stalks out the door slamming it.
I feel horrible walking up to my bedroom. I fall onto my bed and bury my face in my pillow. All I ever wanted was Jaime and I may have just ruined whatever chances I had with him. I check my phone for messages and it seems they aren't having any better of a time in England.
Liam: "Harry met with the physical therapist today but refused to try any of exercises. I don't know what to do to motivate him. Any suggestions?"
Niall: "I keep trying to reach Harper. Could you send me her number I may have the wrong one."
Harry: "Louis refuses to stay with us at the house. Have you heard anything about your passport?"
Louis hasn't even read the last message I sent him. I put my phone up and curl into my pillow. This day sucked I should have just stayed in bed.

Harry POV
       I thought being home in London would make me feel better. I thought having the boys with me would help me not to feel so lonely. However, right now I find that everything pisses me off.
      I first got irritated that Louis changed his mind about staying with us. I was so happy that we'd all be together again. I wouldn't have tried anything with him; I can barely bathe myself or put my clothes on without needing help. Even if something happened it's not like Niall and Liam don't know. It would have been ok. It could have been great.
     I know Parker is coming in a few days and that gives me something to look forward to but I find myself more impatient with her than anything. I mean really why does it take so long for someone to get a passport.
    Liam and Niall haven't left my side. This should make me really happy and it does but I find both of them more bothersome than fun at the moment. Liam is constantly asking if I'm ok or if I've taken my medicine. Once I told him I'd love some medicine but Louis wouldn't come over. That shut him up for a little while. Niall just wants to talk about Harper and what a great girl she is. I'm glad he's found someone he really likes but it just reminds me how alone I am. 
      To avoid snapping and hurting anyone's feelings I stay in my room most of the time. I'm getting really sick of this room. I would usually listen to music or write during a time like this but music makes me want to sing and I can't. I don't know how to function without singing; I imagine I'm acting something like a drug addict only safer.
      I met with a physical therapist to start working with my shoulder. Apparently it's still too early to really get into it so I have to wait a few more weeks. The therapist told me to just relax and rest while I wait. Doesn't anyone know that if you tell someone to relax it's probably the worst thing in the world and it just pisses them off. For fuck sake!!!!! I wish I could just shut my brain off, relax, and not worry about the future; but I don't see that happening any time soon. 
      I would feel better if I had a plan. If I knew the steps I needed to take to get to where I want to be. This sit and wait bull shit is driving me crazy.