I Want To Know (ON HOLD)

The Tipping Point

It was a quiet day, just some seniors, living life to the fullest. Laughing at how hard the lower class-men have it. It was funny seeing them with hefty papers and bags and bags and trying to cram study. The peeps and I were laughing about just that when Mihirmah suddenly gestured towards my right with her eyes.

I turned my head to see a fuming Yusuf followed by a smirking Caroline. I rolled my eyes and turned back to my friends, cracking a joke about Safaa's baby pictures.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" My shoulder was roughly grabbed as my body turned around to face Yusuf. Ismael immediately pulled me away from Yusuf, shielding my body with his own.

"What the actual fuck man?" He glared. My heartbeat was perhaps at 210 miles per hour and I clutched my chest in shock and almost fear.

"I'm talking to her, not you!" Yusuf glowered shoving Ismael so he could see my directly. "Why the fuck did you tell my parents about Caroline?"

My mouth opened in shock. I couldn't comprehend anything. "I didn't tell anyone. God, leave you're making a scene."

"I'm making a scene, you're making a scene. You're so fucking hung up over the fact that I'm not some errand boy for you anymore, and that I actually got a life instead of hanging with you!"

"Oh, no, no, no you don't." I took a step closer menacingly. "I left you alone you bigot. You said you wanted nothing to do with us, and I said fine."

"You are such a lying bitch, do you have any clue what you've done? My parents kicked me out for fuck's sake!"

"I never told your parents, Yusuf! Maybe you shouldn't have done the sick ass things you did and then you wouldn't have these problems!"

"You know what, I'm sick of you and your insecure ass. I'm sick of you being a fucking user. What did you think, that I followed you around because I liked seeing your annoying self everyday? Did you think you had a chance with me? You were always so fucking clingy and I'm glad I got rid of you. Do you understand that? Do you think I'll believe you over my own girlfriend? You and your damn conservative ways, you think you're all that, but you are nothing without me."

"Maybe your girlfriend," I spat, venom lacing my tongue, tears coating my eyes. " is the lying bitch and the user and you just have too thick of a skull to see it, because maybe your betraying ass has forgotten what a friend looks like from a foe, and is too blind to see what this whore actually wants from you."

He took a step towards me, eyes full of rage, and lifted his fist. Safaa and Mihirmah pulled me back immediately as Ismael grabbed his hand and then slapped him, his own eyes boasting tears. I looked at Safaa, with a stony face, and Mihirmah who was crying while wiping away my own, embracing me.

"I hate what you've become Yusuf Ali. Stay away from Ahlam, if you even raise an eye at her, I'll make sure you don't have one to look through anymore. " Safaa warned Yusuf and with that, we left the scene, turning our backs on him similarly to what he'd done with us.

///

I went home early that day and this time, with no one home, I screamed as I cried for hours and hours. My throat was on fire, my eyes, so puffy they were unrecognizable. I cried for the words he had called me, the fact that he would hit me given the chance.

He was not the same person I knew once.

And as my tears flowed down my cheeks, and the fight rang through my ears, my mind, and engraved themselves into my memory, etched in there permanently, I realized that for the second time in my life, someone had the audacity to publicly humiliate me. And this time it was someone I had cared for.

 Some part of my heart still ached for Yusuf.

And that filled me now was rage. Anger. I was furious. With him and myself. 

But mostly myself, because for some godforsaken reason, I still loved him deep down inside.

///

"Turning love into hate is a coward's way out of a broken heart. I love you. And I'm not a coward." -Ranata Suzuki