I Want To Know (ON HOLD)

A Séance for C's

Currently, Mihirmah, Safaa, and I sat in my rooms, specifically on the window seat at our 4th Annual Seance in which we summoned our good grades. This was especially important as we had each received a less than gracious grade on our most recent Calculus test. 

We were also enjoying some foot baths but that's not important.

Safaa peeled a cucumber off her eye. "Do you think we got them back yet?" 

"We'll only know after next week's quiz." Mihirmah replied, having long eaten her cucumbers.

"I think we're good." I added and on cue, we all sprang from the seat proceeding to the bathroom to wash off our oatmeal masks. Our HOMEMADE oatmeal masks.

"Are you going to go to the Dinner again this year?" Safaa asked me as I worked hard to cleanse my face thoroughly.

"Seems like it. My parents already announced that it's important for Daneen and I to go because it might be the last time we go together." I answered, wiping my face down with a towel.

The Dinner was an actual annual event hosted for the Pakistani/Indian community of our town. It was actually just more of an excuse to eat halal food and use clothes that were almost never worn and flaunt them.

As if anyone cared.

"Well, my mother already has my outfit picked out so..." Safaa shrugged her shoulders and collapsed onto my bed as I took a seat in my swing.

Suddenly, Mihirmah's phone rang. She picked it up and spoke in Turkish. "Alright sisters, I'm out.  My mom's waiting at home to make me do the laundry. " 

We mumbled our goodbyes and the door closed behind her. 

"Do you want to help me pick out what I wear?" I asked. I had absolutely no clue and Safaa had good taste anyway.

"Sure." She strode over to my closet and shuffled around for a bit. Finally, letting out an appreciative hum she pulled out an outfit I had worn on my Aunt's shaadi last year. It was a dusty rose colored kameez with silver embellishments on it. A simple pair of dusty rose trousers accompanied it, along with a silver dupatta.

"Noice". 

"Yup, I'm sure a certain someone will like how you look in this." She smirked evily.

"Yeah, Zara aunty is so sweet, she always compliments me on my out-" I began.

"Oh shut up. You know exactly who I'm talking about".

"I just don't understand why every single relationship needs to be romanticized. It's not necessary, and frankly quite annoying. Yusuf and I are best friends. Why can't that be the extreme of our relationship?" I locked eyes with Safaa.

"That's not what I mean. I'm not romanticizing a friendship between a boy and a girl in general. I'm romanticizing your relationship with Yusuf. You've known each other for so many years, and to be honest, you guys are more like a couple than friends. I've never seen him do the things he does for you for Mihirmah or me?"

"Listen. I don't want to talk about it. Let things stay the way they are." 

"Fine, have it your own way. But buried feelings bubble to the surface eventually, and especially when the time and circumstances are unfortunate. " Safaa stated softly. I looked away. Her eyes held the truth and I couldn't bear to look at it.

"I've etched a protective wall around me. I'm happy. After so long. Is that not enough?" I whispered. My eyes trailed to the window as I spotted two girls riding their bikes through the cul de sac. 

Safaa came to sit beside me. "Don't confuse your happiness with void feelings. It's not healthy."

"Girls, khaana is ready!" My mother called from downstairs. Happy with a distraction, I pulled Safaa towards the door with me.

"I don't want to hear a single word about this anymore" I glared at her. She gave me a pained expression.

///

It was Saturday night and Safaa was over once again with her family. I was curling her hair and watched as she twiddled with the hem of her sky blue kameez. 

"Alright. What's up" I huffed. Putting down the curler and pinning her hair back as she swirled around to look at me. 

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pried." She bit her lip nervously.

"Hey, we don't do apologies. We're best friends. Now c'mon. Help me do something about these shoes, they always leave some sort of wound on the back of feet." I changed the topic, feeling guilty about having Safaa feel the need to apologize.

"I've heard that if you use hairspray, the back of the shoes stop irritating your feet." I proceeded to do just that and then slipped them on, feeling some discomfort but not a lot. 

"That's better." I grinned.

Arm in arm we descended the stairs to join our family. 

"You guys won't believe it!" My mother gushed as we looked at each other confused. Everyone in the room looked absolutely ecstatic. My sister Daneen rushed upstairs suddenly. Safaa's brother Azaan looked away, blushing.

"Daneen and Azaan are going to get married!"

/////////////////////

"You stabbed me and then pretended you were bleeding" -Unknown