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36: Use Your Head and Be True to Your Heart

"Rule #1: Every fairy tale comes equipped with a happy ending. You just have to find it."

—Definitive Fairy-Tale Survival Guide, Volume 1
36

Use Your Head and Be True to Your Heart

Kato flew back into the room. "He escaped. He was just too—" His voice and paws stopped short when he saw all that was left of the Gray Witch. "Is that—?"
"Yes, it is, and good riddance." In the end, I had still taken her life, and that was something I would have to deal with. But at least this way I'd starved the curse for now, and Griz wouldn't be haunting my head for eternity. Looking at Rexi, I was glad the witch was dead. Did that make me a bad person? Maybe. Did I care? Ask me again tomorrow.
As Kato came closer, his claws clicked against the opal necklace. The contact made the stone flash, and a little orange swirl ran through it.
I gasped and clamored over to it on my hands and knees. Sure enough, there were still little flecks of light floating through the darkened and cracked stone. Seeing Kato's life magic collide with it gave me an idea. Maybe there was still a chance. I snatched the necklace off the ground and grabbed a shard of the shattered glass vial.
"What are you doing?" Kato sat and watched my frantic movements in puzzlement.
Verte's smile reached all the way into her voice. "She's doing what I told her—using her head."
Taking the glass in hand, I pricked my finger, then sliced off a big chunk of my hair. Wrapping the blood-tinged flames around the opal, I made sure to press the green spark against the crack.
Please work, please work.
Nervously, I stood watch over Rexi as I placed the necklace to her skin. "C'mon, take it," I urged, pushing the flaming hair harder into the stone, thinking maybe the pressure would help transfer some of my life magic into it. "You take everything else that's not bolted down, so just take it!" The wrapping of hair dimmed, the fiery red strands changing back into the regular old shade of brown they used to be.
Carefully, I pulled the strands of hair away, revealing a bright orange-and-green swirled stone. Rexi's chest moved with a sharp intake of breath.
I threw myself down on top of her. "I can't believe that actually worked!"
Rexi mumbled something, but I couldn't understand it.
"What did you say?" I shifted position so I could see and hear her better.
She opened one eye and her mouth tilted into a half smile. "I said, get off, you pixing cow. You're squishing me."
So of course, I squeezed her tighter.
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye. "I'm so sorry. I—"
I cut her off. "Don't want to hear it right now. Let me enjoy the fact that we are, shockingly and against all odds, alive." I kissed Rexi on the forehead.
Next I ruffled Kato's fur and gave him a kiss on his wet nose. And last, I launched myself at Verte and gave her a big smooch on her wrinkly green cheek. Then I hugged and held her lumpy body and let the relief sink into my bones. I had missed Verte so much and couldn't believe that I finally had her back. She was the closest thing to family I had, and if Griz had been telling the truth, might ever have again. "I don't know what took you so long, but I'm so glad you're finally here."
"I had a few technical difficulties. But if I'd rescued you day one, you'd still be a newt-brained brat, so it's better that I waited for you to grow up a bit." Verte lightly pushed me away and waggled those caterpillar eyebrows at me. "Speaking of, think there's something you oughta see." She put her hands on my shoulders and spun me around.
In front of me was a boy with dirt- and blood-smudged tan skin, one pale white arm, auburn hair—with a hint of horns—and ice-water blue eyes. Thankfully, this time Kato was fully clothed, so I didn't hesitate to run into his arms.
"How?" I marveled.
"Must have been your kiss." Kato smoothed my hair and ran a hand across my cheek.
"But that means the fairy tales rules are fixed." The spring water must have disenchanted the broken pieces of the star that Griz had stuffed into her vest. I'd forgotten they were even there until I saw them in the puddle, but it didn't occur to me that, fractured, the star might still have been cleaned of the wish. When I threw the shoe, I'd just been remembering something the pixing wizard had said about Griz being afraid of water.
Wrapping his arms around me, Kato twirled me away. "I guess that means we get the happy ending after all. We skipped this part the first time, but would you do me the honor of being my queen?"
Rexi's moan was cut off by a little kick from Verte. "Shh, this is the best part."
"Yes, for all of ever after."
The words had barely left my lips before he kissed them. If it's even possible, it was better than the first. And this time, there was no Hydra head to spoil it.
I broke off the kiss, startled by the mental image of her head rolling around somewhere after I dropped it in the hazy mess of the halls. "Oh, pix. I forgot about Hydra."
The smoke was still creeping into the furnace room, and a big puff of it was right in front of me. When it cleared, I was left looking at Kato's unamused furry face.
Rexi snorted. "You're right. This is the best part."
Verte helped her off the ground and cackled, "Hehe. Guess the rules aren't as fixed as lover boy might like."
I sighed and rested my forehead on Kato's. Of course it couldn't be that easy. Maybe the star being broken messed the reversal up. Or maybe some of the pieces had fallen out of the Gray Witch's brazier on the ride over. Whatever happened, it meant we still had some work to do.
The ground rumbled beneath our feet.
Kato frowned. "The defenses should be turned off now that the danger's passed."
"Yay. One more thing that isn't working like it should." Rexi rolled her eyes and leaned on me for support since she was still a little wobbly. I suppose being very nearly dead will do that to you.
"Unless you want to see a volcano erupt up close and personal, I better figure out what's going on. It's probably easier to check the defenses as a chimera. But after I'm done, you'll change me back, right?"
"Ooh, she's got you by the short whiskers now, boy," Verte cackled.
Kato shook his head in mock disgust and lowered himself down next to Rexi. "Get on. This is a one-time offer, and if you say one word, I might drop you into the lava," he warned her.
Rexi mimed zipping her lip and collapsed onto Kato's back, then they flew from the room.
"I suppose we'd better find Hydra." I nudged Verte. "Can you use your emerald eye and do whatever it is you do to find me all the time?"
She jiggled her belt. "This can't find anybody. Never has, never will."
"Then how did you know where I was, and how did you know to come here?" I asked.
Grinning slyer than a fox, she pointed at my broken and discarded heels. "I always put tracking spells in all your shoes because they're the only thing I can count on you hanging on to with your last breath."
"That's it?" I asked in disbelief. "That's why you told me, 'Don't lose your shoes'? That's the only reason I've been wearing these blister makers? What about the being enchanted and protecting me from all the dangers I'd run across?"
Verte's eyebrows curved sharply down, meeting in the middle to form a V shaped unibrow. "I didn't put anything like that on them. Were they modified by elves while you slept?" She hobbled over to the broken shoe, picked it up, and gave it a good sniff. "Something smells like mildewed doughnuts."
"Excuse me?" I said, more than mildly offended at the foot odor insinuation.
Ignoring me, she turned the shoe this way and that, then finally licked along the broken edge of the heel.
"Ewww."
Verte smacked her lips, savoring the taste. "Yup, I knew that smelled familiar. They haven't been modified. They've been ozified."
"Is that kind of like ozmosis?" I asked.
Verte ignored me, lifted up her hat, and felt around. Finding nothing, her eyes narrowed at me. Or rather past me as she darted to the discarded book and scooped up what looked like a small green creature.
"Crazy unpredictable troublesome wonderful old fool," Verte said in a mouthful. "You've been meddling again." She fought to keep hold of her squirmy prisoner, but her grip loosened as the creature in her hand changed shape.
First I thought that the Mimicman had returned, but aside from his chimera form, Hydra said he could only mimic people that existed. That would exclude the mustached bibliobug that grew into a large butterpillar and dropped onto the ground. The change didn't stop there. Instead, it went faster, switching through wild and impossible creations in a blink of an eye—things I'd never seen before and a few that were familiar. A horned mouse. Slimy letters of the alphabet. A polka-dotted furry giant. And finally, a short old man with ink-stained hands: the Storymaker I'd seen in Blanc's story.
"Lovely to see you again. Frank, Maker of Oz, at your service." He coughed and beat his chest, getting out a few puffs of green dust. "Now, my dearest Verte, I promised you I wouldn't meddle. Nudging on the other hand..."
"So what do you call this?" Verte shook my broken shoe at the man's nose.
"Well clearly, they're transdimensional particle-accelerating devices."
"They're what?" I asked.
Verte turned around and sighed. She had that look on her face, like she was trying to instruct ants on how to ride a bicycle. "It channels your will into magic for protection, and clicking the heels on the who-magig connecting to the whatchamacallit allows the shoes to move people from one spot to the next. Or across worlds. But it's controlled by your thoughts to make the magic work." She turned her ire back to the Storymaker and tossed the shoe in disgust. "And you newt-well know that's not what I asked. Giving those to an untrained girl is a clear violation of our agreement."
I picked up the broken heel, again awed by the almighty power that is designer shoes. They'd protected me on my journey and must have moved Kato inside Hydra's house. Maybe that's how we'd all been able to go up to the cloud storage with it. And if that was true, maybe getting my parents back wasn't going to be impossible after all. I slipped the shoes on, thought of my parents and stamped my heel to make it go.
Verte clucked her tongue at the Storymaker. "See, that's what I was talking about." She waddled over and yanked the shoe back off my foot while I was still standing. "I thought you'd learned the lesson to stop messing with magic you don't understand! You broke the wangeroo inside the pointy part. Even if you figured out what you were glammed well doing and got it to work, best it would do is move half of you."
That would be extremely unpleasant. But I still had hope.
Verte yelled at the Storymaker while he tuned her out and stroked the engraved quill on the cover of his book.
"Excuse me." I used the most reverent tone I could, as was appropriate for a Storymaker. He didn't budge so I tugged on his worn-out coat to get his attention. "Would you please fix the shoe so I can bring my parents home? Oh, and put back the rules the way they should be."
"No," he said and slammed the book close. "But..."
Verte's lips wiggled and her wart twitched. The little hairs on her chin stood to attention. "Whatever you're thinking...stop."
He blew a puff of dust up Verte's nose and smiled while she fought a sneezing attack.
"Now, where were we?" he said. "Ah, yes. The rules of story are always changing. They will balance themselves out with time. But I'm afraid even if I fixed the shoes, you wouldn't be able to harness enough of the power in your blood to reach the other side."
I was about to beg again when he handed me the book with a wink and said, "Not unless I teach you, that is. Destruction is only one half of the so-called curse, the flipside is creation. We'll start tomorrow."
Verte cursed a green streak, chasing the man around the room. He headed for the cave entrance, shouting over his shoulder. "Teaching is not meddling, just training a Maker's apprentice. What could go wrong?"
They were both out of sight, but I could hear Verte holler back, "The last time you said that, I turned green!"
With a smile, I cradled the book that had shown my parents and brushed off the Griz goo that marred one corner. Crazy seemed to be the new normal, but maybe that wasn't so bad.
As far as happy endings go, this wasn't "ticker tape parade ride the carriage off into the triple sunset" material. Magic was working again—somewhat. Kato was human again—sometimes. My parents were alive—somewhere. The bad guys were dealt with—unless you counted the wizard/Mimicman/Beast King. And I had managed to survive the Emerald curse without turning evil—for now. Still, the good guys won, and for today, that was enough. And for tomorrow...it will be whatever I make it.