Greed and Despond (Ban x Sin!Reader)

Extra Because I'm Bored And Too Lazy To Write Another Chap

RANDOM THINGS MY FRIENDS OR I HAVE SAID/DONE WITHOUT CONTEXT, FEATURING THE SINS (just the ones prominent in the story so far cause I'm lazy)

Hawk To Meliodas: Sméagol gets a cake or Sméagol kicks your white hobbit ass
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Ban: If you were a spice, you'd be flour, you annoying bitch
King: At least I'm more useful and affordable than your extra saffron ass
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(Y/N): I will make you eat your parents
Meliodas: You stole that you fucking libtard
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(Y/N): Is it weird that I want to fuck you and fuck you up at the same time?
Ban: Nah, I get that all the ti- wait, what?
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King: So you're telling me tampons don't go up girl's asses? Then where the fuck do they go?! eXpLaIn tHiS wIzArDrY
Literally everyone else: *hysterical laughter*
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(This doesn't rly fit anyone but I felt like it needed to go here so it can be shown to the world)
My dumbass brother: No joke Cartman is thicc as fuck. I'd tap that. Kyle is still my Daddy with a capital D tho
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Diane: There should be a TV show about the Seven Dwarves from Snow White. But if it's anything other than a romcom it'll be total garbo
Meliodas: Pfft and all seven of them are fighting over Snow White *narrator voice* Seven Dwarves- one maiden. Who will win her love? Find out this weekend on... Dwarfy Love
Ban: Dwarfy Love? No way, dude, it'd be called 'The Septsome'
(Y/N): Isn't that just an orgy tho?
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Gowther: The fuck is hentai?
Meliodas: *pulling out an entire binder with an extremely questionable smile*
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(Y/N), talking about Merlin to the other Sins: Welp, have fun guys, imma go get raped by our tree of a teacher
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Meliodas: It's yeet or be yeeted on this goddamn bitch of an earth. And you, my friend, will be yeeted. *proceeds to drag (y/n) across a field while she screams*
(In case you were wondering, yes, I did get dragged across an entire soccer field before I could escape. In real fucking life.

I love my friends)
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Hawk: So I'm at chipotle, right? And this UBER hot guy walks in as I'm walking to the bathroom- and he's walking to the bathroom too. And I have to shit like there's NO tomorrow
(Y/N): The chipotle shits?
Hawk: Yeah, the 'I just had seven burritos' chipotle shits
Ban: Holy shit dude
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(Y/N): *pop* noice
Gowther: What noise?
King, from another room: Nut noise?
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(Y/N): My name backwards is disappointment and depression lmao
Gowther: Nice to meet you noisserped dna tnemtnioppasid
Diane: How in the actual fuck did you say that
Ban: How long have you had that prepared? There is no way you just did that in .0002 seconds
Gowther: I'll have you know that I did do that off the top of my head and only because I won a spelling bee once *pits on sunglasses crooked*
Hawk: Dude you're a fucking nerd
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Random ass teacher (cause we're in school now I guess): *picks (y/n)*
(Y/N): *pause* Hold on, I'm not stupid I'm just panicking
The Sins (aka the whole class): *laughter, Meliodas falls out of his chair and the others laugh even harder*
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King: Stop spoiling Endgame guys! I can't be near you without hearing 'your mom dies'! SOME OF US HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET
Ban, quietly: your dad dies too lmao you're so clueless
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(Y/N), during an exam while the teacher isn't in the room: EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS
Everyone else: *aggressive hand-clapping*
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Diane, browsing Pinterest, showing (y/n) and Meliodas a picture of a bed: I'd love to lay there and drink tea and, like... listen to the rain while reading a book
(Y/N), with a straight face: I'd love to have sex on it and listen to the rain in between moans
Meliodas: A literal 'there are two types of people' meme

THATS ALL I HAVE
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS BULLSHIT BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DID