Greed and Despond (Ban x Sin!Reader)

67

The night was long and uneventful. True to his word, Ban had allowed you to sleep in his bed with him. It brought the same comfort that it had the first time, and, although you didn't sleep, you were relaxed and at ease during the late hours of night and early moments of the morning. During this time, you had allowed your thoughts to ripen and your brain to churn, digesting all of the information you had been handed the previous day.

The first issue was the strange Holy Knight mage (you still assumed) who had attacked you the previous day. You weren't sure who they were or how they had gotten such a strange ability, but you did know it unsettled you. Someone like that shouldn't have free reign to roam around the kingdom- especially if they could attack someone so powerful successfully. You had decided that you would approach the King, as well as a few Holy Knights, to see if anyone knew of a Knight with such terrifying strength.

Then, there was the main issue, which you had contemplated for hours on end. Ban.

The man you had fallen head-over-heels for in a matter of days upon first meeting him. The man who still made your heart flutter after more than twenty years of knowing him. The man who was going to leave- sometime soon, although you didn't know when- you and the rest of the Sins for a dead girl. It sounded so strange when you thought about it like that, but it still made you shift with discomfort.

Inexplicably, hope had settled deep within your core, and you couldn't seem to shake it. Somehow you knew that he hadn't yet given up on you. That the reason he was looking for Elaine was not because he still loved her, but because of some greater purpose. Some reason that would make your entire body erupt in the fires of love and that would make you feel secure in your place once again.

It hurt still, you wouldn't lie. It hurt that he was going to leave- that there was not complete certainty that he would come back to you. Those two meager days where you and Ban had been together had been your happiest in some time, and you didn't want to give up on the one who had made them so. But love had to be two sided. Relationships had to be two sided. If they weren't- what was the point of being in them at all?

In the early morning, when you had been zoned out, contemplating these trivial things, the man beside you had stirred. In total honesty, you didn't like getting rooted in your thoughts. It tended to bring you to places you didn't want to be. You were actually somewhat relieved when Ban snapped you out of your thoughts, shifting and grumbling about what a nuisance waking up in the morning was.

You immediately snapped your eyes shut, relaxing to make it as believable as possible that you were asleep. Ban sighed softly, glancing down at your form. He noticed your expression, and, thinking that you were asleep, lightly grabbed you and pulled you into his chest.

"Y'know..." he mumbled, thinking you couldn't hear him, but still talking to you. You listened attentively, "I knew this guy... and he said 'If you fall in love with two people, always pick the second, because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.' I told him he was an asshole and stole his wallet," he chuckled breathily, and his face turned slightly more somber. "I didn't think I would fall for anyone when I was a kid- I didn't like anyone. But... now I don't know. I'm stuck in this bullshit and... I don't know."

He hugged you slightly tighter. Your eyes were wide, but you made sure to keep up the facade that you were asleep. Ban sighed, turning his head to his face was buried in your messy hair. "(Y/N)... what do you think I should do? Ha, yeah, I know. 'Do what you want, asshole- don't worry about me.' That's what you'd say, right?"

There was a pause, where Ban's grip on you became a bit too tight.

"Ugh, this is so stupid...!" Ban huffed, letting go of you and sitting up. He sat on the edge of the bed, cheek pressed on his palm while his elbow rested on his knee. "Why the fuck should I care? I'll do what I want. If I pick Elaine, then I pick Elaine; if I pick (y/n), then I pick (y/n). It's not that goddamn complicated."