Thinking About You

Chapter 3

"Let me drive this shit," Damantaé says through the window to Cruz. Cruz straightens up so that he could look at Damantaé from across the roof.
"First of all, it's not shit. Second of all, no. Third of all, you ain't got a license. Fourth of all, hell no!" Lincoln was laughing, I chuckle and shake my head.
"Write me a grocery list while you at it, bitch." Damantaé takes his self to the backseat, Cruz just grinning at him the whole time. I get in the front.

"How's that job search coming along?" Lincoln asks from besides Damantaé.

Cruz turns onto the highway to get to the bridge. We were heading into the city of Jordansberg. Cruz has paperwork he needs to get done to take care of business and Damantaé's meeting with his probation officer.

"Like shit," Damantaé says.
"Had a couple of interviews, they didn't go so bad," I input. "Right, Dam?"
"Whatever."
"You know what?" Cruz speaks up. "You would be a lot happier if you got a job and became productive. It'll take your mind off the crappy life you've started to develop for yourself and at the same time you'll be earning money and what not." Lincoln laughs.
"How very... insightful of you, Cruz," I smile. I notice that he looks my way for a second too long. I don't look back long; I didn't want to see the expression on his face.

How long has it been now? Twelve years, I think.

Cruz parks on the side street. Coming out to Jordansberg was always strange. Rarely do people from Shoreview come out here. It's a busy city.

"So what's going on?" Lincoln asks, he's been on his phone this entire time.
"Got to get a new Social Security Card. Afterwards we can go to the PO's office."
"Which one is going to take longer?"
Cruz shrugs.
"I'm not leaving this parking spot now to drop Dam off."
"Aiight, check it." Lincoln pulls his phone back out. "What's the address?" He asks Damantaé.

Cruz looks at me with his dark brown eyes, there's a slight look of annoyance with a touch of nonchalance. This look said, 'Okay, do what you wanna do.'

"Okay, so, we about to head over to the office. Y'all can get what ya have to get done here. We'll probably finish up at the same time and meet back up. Sound like a plan?"
"Whatever, Lincoln."
"Cruz, you just mad I thought of it first."
"Y'all niggas better hurry and get out and walk," Cruz rushes him, talking louder.
"Don't tell us what to do, Cruz," Lincoln says before he and Damantaé get out the car. I chuckle.
"His impatient ass, it's fucking hot out there, hope they don't get dehydrated."
I shrug and nod.
"Yeah, it is hot."
"Hotter in this fucking car." He opens the door and steps out.

Cruz took longer to get his shit done but Damantaé and Lincoln got lost trying to get back to us.

I wait in the nice cool building while Cruz talks to someone at the window in line 3. I mainly kept my eyes on him. He talks to the woman behind the glass, makes small gestures with his hands, licks his lips almost every other minute. He leans on one foot then switches to the other, he looks down and nods his head. His hands momentarily smooth down his hair waves, he scratches his arm, leans forward on his elbows. I recall most of these movements even back when we were in 7th grade. I had liked watching him. I glance down at my hands, turning them one way then the other. He once held these hands...

... took them and guided them down, under the comforter.
"You can touch—"

"Aiight!"

I jolt up right and look up. Cruz stands in front of me, looking down at his paperwork.

"It wasn't that bad." He looks at me and frowns. "¿Qué pasa?" I stand up, needing to move.
"I'm good, you all set?" He continues to stare at me.
"Yeah, let's head out."

"I'm not searching for them niggas, they wanted to go on an adventure, so they can venture they asses back to my car." Cruz was leaning on it now. I stood in front of him, shake my head while laughing.
"I miss you, man." Comes out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Why did I say this? Cruz looks at me curiously.
"I didn't go anywhere." I want to dead it so I didn't bother explaining but he continues to stare at me as if he's slowly figuring it out. His expression falters and changes. He was staring at me with a serious look. His face changes again, it softens and he looks at me with brand new eyes. He whispers something. I close my eyes, I could barely make it out but I knew it had to be...

"Mi amor..."

"Are you serious, Jac?" When I open my eyes a look of slight bewilderment was there. What was I thinking?
"Finally! Fuck!" The voice startles both of us. To the right is Lincoln and Damantaé.
"It's too hot for this shit, y'all tryna get a beer?" Lincoln offers.

I was quiet on the ride back. Lincoln and Damantaé spoke but I wasn't even listening. I want my mind to just empty itself right now. I did notice that Cruz remained silent as well but I didn't look at him. I look down at my phone and notice that red notification again.

"Thanks for meeting me." She was on a swing, watching my every move. I sat at the swing besides her's.
"No problem, I think it's good to catch up."
Treese smiles.

I was quick to meet up with her after I jetted from Cruz's car. It wasn't because I was "thirsty". I think I just need a distraction, something to get my mind right, something to stop me from going back to what I thought was a mistake.

"You seem very gloomy."
"Nah." I push my swing. "I'm good." My phone vibrates. When I check it I see that it's a message.

I think about it too, Jac. We should really talk.

I look over at Treese and ask her if she wants to get a drink.