Thinking About You

Chapter 6

"Now she wanna trap a nigga."
Linc shakes his head.

After 72 hours my mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that I'm going to be a father. I figured my boys were going to find out eventually so why not be the first to tell them. More and more I haven't been interested in telling them anything with regards to anything. Some part of me doesn't like how withdrawn I've been these past couple of weeks.

I did notice that Cruz hasn't said a word. I've never seen him so still. His elbows are on his knees, the palm of his right hand under his chin, his chin resting on it. His fingers on the side of his face, leaning forward, concentrating on something on the floor. He's been stuck like this for five minutes straight.

"I told you, man! Don't trust that broad! You better get a DNA test."
"I'm not about to do all that."
"She got pregnant pretty quick," Damantaé says nonchalantly while examining his nails.
"How far along is she?" Linc asks and I shrug in return.
"She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow." I look around Jon's Pizzeria, the place is pretty crowded, people laughing and shouting at each other.
"Well, keep us up to date, I gotta get back to work." Linc points at Damantaé. "You too, get up, let's go." Damantaé rolls his eyes but he was pretty calm today. They walk away and it's just me and Cruz, him leaning forward in his chair and me leaning back. I look across the table to him.
"You aiight?" I ask. He eventually exhales and sits up.
"You gonna make me a godfather?"
I laugh and nod.
"Most definitely."
"Don't have that baby around Damantaé." I almost choke on my saliva from laughing. "You'll be a good dad, Jac. I'm sure of it." He says in all seriousness. I nod in turn but I had to look down and away from his face.

"Do you remember last week when Damantaé shouted in class, 'Nigga, I ain't doing that shit?'?" We shared a laugh. "That's exactly how I felt today."
"Yeah, listening to Mr. Prince is exhausting."
We made it to Alex's house after school, toting heavy backpacks and coats, the breeze was cold.
"Mama! We home," Alex shouted.
"I'm on the phone, Alex, stop yelling."
We found her in the kitchen, pounding out flour, phone between her cheek and shoulder.
"Ma," Alex tried to whisper. "It's cold, can you make us some hot chocolate?" I was already licking my lips. Alex's mom made some bomb ass hot chocolate, with real Hershey's chocolate and huge marshmallows that turned gooey. His Ma pursed her lips like she always did when she's thinking hard. We started to figure she didn't listen to or hear him.
"It'll be about 15 minutes, run along."
We jumped in the air all happy and excited. We ran back down the hall, slipping and sliding in our socks on the wood floors and made a ruckus running upstairs.
"Stop banging and running on my wood floors!" His Ma yelled. She prided herself in those floors. We just giggled and ran into his room, shutting the door.

"Aiight, man, you be good," Cruz says before we depart in separate ways.

I didn't know where he was going and he didn't offer to tell me. I nod.

"Hasta luego," he adds over his shoulder and continues walking away with his head down.

Instead of heading over to Treese's, I went to my place. Stepping inside makes me realize how much I've been at Treese's but yet she hardly comes to my place. I take a long shower. I was so lost in my thoughts that it took me a while to realize that I was out of the shower, standing in front of the sink, staring at it with just my towel on.

How long had I been standing like this?

I change into shorts and went to lay down. Absentmindedly I text Treese letting her know that I'll see her tomorrow for the Doctor's. After that I stare hypnotically at my ceiling fan. There wasn't a ceiling fan in his room but I recall staring up at a similar ceiling, listening to him speak.

He sat his empty mug on the night stand.
"At this rate I think I'll take detention." He was speaking of his homework. I chuckled.
"Ms. DuBoise assignments be easy, though."
Alex moaned and raked his hands over his face.
"Nigga, I'm lazy!" He responded in a funny voice. "I just had chocolate too."
I yawned.
"It's making me tired."
Alex gave me the stink eye from his carpeted floor while folding a piece of paper into a triangle then flicked it at me sitting on his bed. His perfect aim got me on the chin. From there I wrestled him on the ground. He made random "karate" noises as he swatted at me and blocked my hits. At the time he had a brown belt in Karate, so he knew some moves and mildly used them on me when we played around. He always beat me.

My eyes shot open, the room was dark. My first thought was I last remembered climbing into bed after we played and closing my eyes. I knew I was still at Alex's. His room was so dark and he didn't have a clock in his room. I didn't know what time it was. I felt poking in my shoulder. Alex laid next to me on my right. He was quietly staring at me. He had stopped his poking and moved his hand down my arm. Once at my hand he held onto it. It was so warm. I spent the night at Alex's a bunch of times but at that moment things felt different from any other time before. I slowly let go of his hand to take my shirt off. I thought to myself that since it was late I was going to spend another night at his place. He didn't follow suit at first but just watched me. When I started, hesitantly, on my jeans he started undressing as well.
We laid side by side, wide awake from our nap, with only our shorts on. Slowly, Alex went back to holding my hand, I didn't know what to think and I didn't mind it either. My eyes lingered on the covers on top of his lower half. Just staring there excited something in me. Alex caught me staring. He guided my hand onto his side and gently under the covers.
"You can touch me." Is what he told me. And I did, not really knowing what to do but he smiled at me and I let myself be kissed by him. He cautiously began to touch me as well.

My eyes lost speed with one of the blades and I was back in my room.

Treese wasn't at her place the next morning. I gave her a call but didn't get an answer.

Me: I'm at your place now. Where r u?

After I sent the text I realized that she could be at the doctor's office or on her way there but I didn't see why she would have left so soon. Or without me.

I start walking, unsure of where to go and she didn't text me back after some time. Fuck it. I decide to head for the doctor's office. I wasn't positive as to which one she would be at. I went to two offices and asked for her but she wasn't in there. By now her appointment should be over but I kept looking.

I finally find her walking out of one downtown.

"There you are! Did you get my text?" I notice she's a little startled at seeing me.
"What are you doing here, Ja?"
"I told you I was coming to your doctor's appointment today, remember?" She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
"Yeah, right, it's okay. I started not to feel well so I left early but everything's fine." I see some papers in her hand.
"How did it all go, though? Are you far along?" She seemed off and hesitant.

We start walking away from the office together.

"Uh, yeah, it all went good... they said I wasn't too far along, like a month." I nod to myself.
"Okay, that's good, you got any pictures?"
She chuckles.
"Well, the baby wouldn't be fully formed now."
"But still, I'd care to see." I watch her but she just kept walking and kept her eyes straight ahead.
"I'm pretty tired and still feel a little sick. I was thinking about going back to my place."

We stop and face each other. She was acting a little funny so she probably did need to lay down.

"Okay, did you want me to head back over with you?"
"Nah, that's okay. You have to work later on right?" I nod. "I'll be okay, I'm gonna have Shauna hang out with me."
"All right." She gives me a kiss and then starts walking off. I remain in my spot.

The day was getting dreary as if it was about to rain. I ended up walking mindlessly until I got to work and still my mind was elsewhere. Without much thought or feeling, I serve paperwork, make phone calls, check emails, ride in cars with customers until my shift ended. I hadn't told my dad about the pregnancy and some part of me didn't feel like I needed to just yet...