Thinking About You

Chapter 10

I wasn't calming down. My leg was bouncing. My mind dwelling over everything these last couple of months. I was really getting ready to provide for a child that wasn't going to be mine. There's at least 10 items of baby shit in my closet.

Linc was pacing back and forth in front of me, occasionally looking out my living room window. It was getting dark out, we had to have been here for the past 30 minutes.

"She's here."

Linc startles me out of my thoughts. I catch him opening the door, Treese practically running in, stomach pressed up against her shirt. Sure enough without her baggy shirts she didn't look 5 months. I start to stand up, her looking at me all in distress and almost terrified. You would think she ran here how uneven her breathing was.

"Jah, I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you—"
"Tell me what?!"

I start to get in her face, the thoughts of her cheating on me again and getting played again speeding through my brain. Linc was quick to block me from getting any closer to her but Treese also quickly backed up away from me. For sure she's scared.

"I didn't want him to tell you..."
I back away, and trying to walk my anger off but it wasn't happening.
"Tell me what?!" I had to say again because she was stalling.

I faintly hear in the background more movement, it started to feel crowded as if others were now in the room with us but I pay it no mind. All I could make out was Treese.

"The baby... isn't yours," she finally confesses tearfully.

My first reaction's to exhale loudly as if I just ran a marathon, with my hands on my hips. I take a second to look away from her which must have made it easier for her to explain.

"I'm so sorry, I know Adam's the father. I felt so bad, I couldn't even look at you because I knew you would be mad—"
"So," I pause. "You went behind my back and cheated on me with that nigga?"

I step up a little bit closer to her in a menacing way. Despite me being angry with her I know in my mind I couldn't or wouldn't put my hands on her, that's just not me. She was silent for a long time and wouldn't look at me.

"So you did? You fucking cheated on me again?"
I rub my face out of frustration.
"I'm such a fucking dumbass!"

But as soon as I say that it hits me. I am a real dumbass because I remember Adam saying she was 7 months along. If I was the father she would be about 5 months. No...

"I didn't cheat on you," she whispers.

I stop the pacing I didn't realize I was doing and stare at her... for the longest of time. I briefly wonder where Linc is but I felt a presence behind me.

"What do you mean?" I eventually ask.

There's tears on her face that she doesn't bother to wipe away and she looks so scared now. She keeps hesitating.

"What do you mean, Treese?" I press slowly.
"I knew I was... pregnant before I got back with you. I was 3 months along. I'm so sorry. I just knew you would be a better father and Adam was—"

I can't really explain what happened next, not fully but I think I blacked out. I do remember zoning her out then I blacked out after those first two sentences. My mind drew a blank, almost too in shock to process what it was being told but then one memory comes to me. And that was the devastating look on Alex's face when I told him no more and then turned my back to him and walked away... from what should have been. From what I truly wanted all along.

But I snap out of the thought and it was like my body completely took over and my mind just shut down. I remember rushing at her, no warning or words, before strong arms tried to hold me back.