Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened.
-Henry Scott-Holland.
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My head felt heavy, my wrists ached, and my mouth seemed to be filled with cotton balls. I rolled to my side, my heavy eyes barely lifting open. I could feel softness beneath me, as if I was lying on a bed made of pillows. A faint smell entered my nostrils telling me I wasn't in my own bed. Parting my lips ever so slightly, I could feel material making it impossible for me to open my mouth all the way. Immediately the haziness that had consumed me lifted as panic arose.
The memory of how I had gotten here and what had happened hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no forgetting the things that Beyoncé did.
That my father had done.
Stay in the present, Nicki. I reminded myself.
I focused on what I could see and hear. The sound of water could be heard off in the distance. I was lying in a bedroom slash living room. A large TV was in front of me as well as a wall lined with books. A couch and chair sat to the right, and on the left side was a kitchen. My head felt heavy as I tried to gain my bearings, taking notice of what lay straight in front of me. A door. An exit. It had to be, the only other door was where the sound of water was coming from.
Try as I may to make my legs move, they wouldn't. They were like pools of jelly, and with my hands bound together there was no way for me to move them.
"Fucking Christ!!" I wanted to scream but instead I spoke the words softly.
There was no point in drawing more attention to myself. I had met this woman on a chance encounter. I knew it wasn't meant to be, I could feel it in my bones.
Her lips though, the way her heart beat under her shirt as she touched my skin was real. Beyoncé was the first real thing I had ever felt in my life, even if she was the type of person I had spent the better part of my life running from.
"Why did I bring you back here? I'm sure that is the first question you're asking yourself, and the second is why are you tied up?" Beyoncé's husky voice caused my body to vibrate to life. I turned sharply forcing myself to fall back onto the sheets. My eyes zoned in on her, her shirtless breast covered by a white lace bra and her grey short sweatpants that hung low on her hips. Her hair was still wet, causing it to stick all over her face, shoulders and I guess, back.
"I know why you brought me here!" I shouted, even though my words were muffled by the object restricting my mouth, defying everything inside of me screaming at me to stay quiet.
When I went out last night, my plan was to try and be someone new if only for one night. To find someone who was warm, caring, and could show me what love really was, even if it was only through physical actions.
