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When I awoke the next morning, I wasn't sure if what had happened between Onika and I was a mistake or godsend. Knowing she had craved me with the same desires all along caused the coldness in my chest to seep away, but it also made things a lot more complicated.
I could tell sex was far more to her than it ever was to me from the second I slid into her. The way her eyes rolled lightly as I slammed in again and again. Most women couldn't handle a man in control, and I didn't think she could either, but she took everything I gave her without plea.
Staring silently into the morning light that casted upon us, I knew that today would be the end of anything that had started. I had caused this mess, and now I had complicated it further. Deep down somewhere inside the pitiful darkness of me, there was a woman that longed for someone like her.
My sister would've loved her.
I couldn't go there. I couldn't think about her and not want answers to my questions. Therefore, I shoved her to the back of my mind once more.
Why dwell on the past when you can't go back to alter the future? Instead I forced my attention to Onika and her still sleeping form next to me. It wasn't a surprise to me that she was still sleeping.We had sex three more times last night, and I knew more than anyone that she was going to be a slow riser from that alone this morning.
My eyes glided over her dark hair and tanned skin. She was so fragile, like a flower in a field that had the potential to grow into something big given the right living conditions. I wanted her to have that potential.
For a few moments I stared, my eyes going straight to her parted lips. They were a dusty pink color and slightly bruised from my kisses last night, yet as I kept my eyes on them I could feel it in my chest that I wanted nothing more than to see a smile form on her lips every day that I was alive.
Warmth seeped into my bones, and just as I was going to lean over and place a soft kiss on her shoulder my phone buzzed on the nightstand. Immediately, anxiety took place of any happy feelings I had previously had.
Exhaling a breath of air, I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I had a couple texts from the girls, but nothing stood out to me quite like the one from Rihanna.
Forehead 🖤
Something's up. 6:53 AM I'll try to cover as long as I can to buy you some time. 6:58 AM They know. 7:00 AM
I gripped my phone in my hand, another breath leaving me. It was starting to feel the same way it had when I lost her. The walls were closing in around me. Hands were clamping around my neck, and oxygen was no longer filtering into my lungs. I couldn't go on with this anymore.
"Beyoncé..." Onika's voice blanketed me in warmth, pulling me from the murky memories and thoughts of my own mind, and God how I wanted to keep her for myself. It was as if she was an angel sent down from the heavens to bring me back to the good side. To remind me of all that is great in life.
