Mine Then, Mine Now

9

I collapsed on my bed after dinner, I was tired, and I hadn't gotten the chance to process everything.

Jay and Asher liked me, both of them, at the same time, did I have to choose?

What was I gonna do!?
I was on the verge of an anxiety attack when Marcus knocked on my door.

I opened it, he wore a yellow hoodie, his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and his curly hair was messy.

"Can we talk?" He asked and I nodded.
We sat on my carpet.

"Tell me about your day first." He ordered.

I was relieved, I could tell him anything.

"Well, today I learned that 2 guys like me, I'm not in love with either of them, I like one of them, but I love the other, what do I do?" I asked, not mentioning any names.

"Who are we talking about?" He asked.
"If I tell you promise to not get mad?" I asked.

He nodded, "on god."
"Jay and Asher." I said.

He didn't look attacked like Caleb did when he heard about Asher.

"You love Asher, but you're not in love with him. You like Jay." He said.

I nodded, "I don't want to hurt either of them."

"If Asher really loves you, he will move on, or accept the fact you don't want to be with him. You should give Jay a chance." He said.

He was right, Asher was so predictable, I already somewhat dated him, Jay on the other hand, I hadn't.

"What about you?" I asked.
He tilted his head, "what about me?" He asked.

"I don't know, you seem like you have something to say." I said playing with my sock.

He heaved a heavy sigh, "Jackie, I trust you more than anybody in this world, what I want to say to you isn't easy to say."

I nodded, he did trust me a lot, and I trusted him a lot too.

"What is it you have to tell me?" I asked calmly trying to ease his nerves.

He breathed heavily as if he might have a panic attack, "I remember when I was a junior, this girl asked me out multiple times, I said no everytime, she was pretty, but I just didn't see her in a romantic way, these guys were fooling around, one of them was gay, and he asked me out, I said no, but I wanted to say yes so badly, But I didn't know that at the time...I, I, guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm gay."

I hugged him, tears streamed down his face, My brother just came out of the closet, he trusted me, and told me something some people don't have the guts to do.

He sobbed on my shoulder, there was a lump in my throat I could not swallow.

"Marcus it'll be alright."I said patting his back.

Despite him being bigger than me he managed to bury his face in my shoulder.

He hugged me tightly, "No, it won't, what will Caleb think? Or mom?"

I noticed how he didn't mention dad, "what about dad?" I asked.

He pulled away, his eyes were puffy, and his face was red, "forgive me, But I already told him."

I smiled, "That's good, and what did he say?"

"He said, as long as I was happy, he would be happy." He smiled despite the tears rolling down his face.

"And we will be, I'm not saying it will be easy, but we will get through it." I reassured, making sure the we sounded like I was included.

"I love you, Jackie." He said and hugged me again.