The One

Chapter 12~ Opressing my Feelings

Just one week to go until the big day. It will be a new beginning for me like as though I will be born again. It's not only the fact that I will be married that will be different about my life but even the fact that my family will be different. In fact I'll have two families. It just means more people to love me. But what about that one person? What am I saying? I am trying to forget Hussain.

I know I am not excited as much as I should be about the day but I still want it to be special and a day to remember coz no matter what, it will be a day which in sha allah will happen only once in my life. In fact I even want that day to be very special for Atif because I am sure he wants this day to be the best day of his life. He doesn't deserve to be let down by anyone.

I know it's not appropriate for me to think of another when I'm marrying someone else. I just can't help it and honestly I think many would understand how I am feeling now. I am happy I guess because I am marrying a guy that my family would love and one who would love not only me but my family as well. But it's not my family that has to stay with him. It's me.

When I'm just in a room full of everyone just so busy with the preparations I just feel like I am actually letting everyone down. Imagine if they find out, they'll be crushed. I just can't say a word and just have to oppress my feelings. At least each person by now has had a conversation with me, trying to get me ready for the day. There I am though without any emotions. It's the fact that I just have no idea how to react to any of this. I honestly just feel like I am a rock. Everyone would pick it up and move it but the rock itself has no sense of what is happening. It's hard like the way I'm hard from the inside now.

I smile but behind it I have all these things on my mind but I have no emotions about it. I have no clue what to do or what will even happen. They all planned together that we're all going to go on a 4 days holiday just before the wedding with Atif's family, and come back just the day before the wedding as they're going to finalise the plan and everything there. Apparently we're only going just to build a bond with them and so that I get to bond with his mum and hopefully change how she feels about me. But I don't really care. I guess i'll just have to wait and see what happens there. Maybe I will find my answers there. Maybe I will get my emotions back there. Maybe I will find myself again there.

------------------------------------- Sorry guys this chapter is very short but it's because I want to put more in the next chapter which will hopefully be updated tomorrow 😘 lookout for the next chapter guys 😘 comment below any of your real life lovestories 😘 I'd be more than happy to read them 😄😘