Hey I'm Satan!

Chapter Five

Wednesday 25th September

Okay, dear diary, my beautiful friend, before you kill me for ignoring you for this long, take into account the fact that you ran away! I haven't seen you for the past week, and I will admit missing you a bit. So, I guess I could catch you up to date on my ultra interesting life.

Dalek guy returned, but in the voice of Darth Vadar. Think that I preferred the dalek to be honest... Who doesn't?

Don't answer that.

Anyway, the tree girl returned on Monday, all different looking. She ignores me now,  staying away from my beautiful tree. Thank you! I think she's in the popular crowd now... she's welcome to them! Ugh.

I ate mars bars, and... yep. This diary is becoming really boring. I'm going to have to think of something else to do in the days to make this interesting! It's midnight here now, and my mother has been asleep since nine, so I'm going to do the stereotypical teenage thing and sneak out by climbing the tree outside my window. Buenos Días, amigo!

Thursday 26th September

You guessed it. I got locked out. They never said you had to take a key with you! So now I'm going to be waiting out here all night. And it's after midnight, yes. And also, I did take my diary with me. God, it's cold.

I'm going to go for a run. Until six, mum wakes up then. And you, diary will come running with me, okay? Okay. Awww diary you're so cheesy. Anyhow, I'm gonna go now, go for a run. Maybe find somewhere warm to sleep. Or not. Where there's a will there's a way! Even if you're about to fall asleep.

Crap. I have school later. I need to sleep. I will go. This will be done.

...

So, my diary, as you know I got locked out last night. It turned out to be the night of the storm. What you don't know about me yet, although you will soon, is that I am petrified of lightning. Yep! Satan is scared of lightning. Ironic right? The bringer of the flames, the depths of hell, is 17, on club penguin and terrified of lightning.

Mum found me early this morning, shaking and covered in water. I was curled into a ball apparently. A ball! Why don't I remember any of this, I hear you ask. Well, diary, it's because I don't remember any of this. I forgot everything that I did last night, I know I must have got drunk because I have a giant hangover, seriously it's like my heads in that magician box thing with a fucking chainsaw cutting me in half. Except it actually got me. And my head is now split in half.

Another thing I did last night must have been making friends as I have about twenty new contacts in my phone. Yep. This is really strange and I have no idea what to do now. Continue my life as normal? Phone the numbers and find out what happened last night? Wait and hope someone phones me? I'm a mess diary. A complete mess and nothing can help me now. How could an innocent run do this to someone? I need to feed my Mars bar addiction and I think I might try and sleep this hangover away so I will return tomorrow with more information about my wild night perhaps!

...

Or I could just stay awake thinking until midnight, because apparently that's my type of thing to do. I mean, who doesn't love staying awake until midnight with the thoughts in your brain bouncing around and keeping you awake? See, everyone loves it. Anyway, my darling diary, I Satan Lucifer Smith (and yes, I am a Smith thanks for noticing) have had a new experience. Before you start thinking, let me tell you that this has happened before.

Wait for it

Okay?

Ready?

I got a text! From one of the numbers saved in my phone... Seexy Beast was the name. As you can tell, I have a great imagination. So, this momentous (Ooh big word) moment shall be recorded, seexy beast shall be know as sb and I am me.

sb: Yo Satan, what's up

Me: Um hey there... dude

Sb: Lmfaoooooo you're funny

Me: Thanks, I think

Sb: Wassup?

Me: Urm, the sky? Oh wait, the ceiling. Because I'm inside, gettit?

Sb: Haha yeah.... look, I have to go now but ttyl!

I really don't understand why sb left. I wasn't being that stupid, was I?

Oh.

When sb said what's up they meant how was I. Not literally asking what's up above me. Awkward!

Maybe I should text another number. See what happens. Or I could try to sleep, for real this time. Or I could write angel Gabs. Ciao!

Angel Gabriella

So, now that I have changed my 'action plan' I need to create myself an evil step family, kill my father and become a slave. Then I need there to be a masked ball, where I will kiss a stranger and lose a shoe, they will search for me and find me and happy ever after will be mine.

Easy. Now, how to do this. Back up to Angel school I shall go, or maybe I should instead be travelling to the slavery universe and learning how to clean. Without breaking a nail or getting any dirt on me. Ever. Understood?

This isn't going to work. I need a rich guy near by, for one thing. None of them around here! Except, there are two. Troy. And my brother. Yep, I have a brother. Mart. And yes, he is just as fictionally perfect as me, muscles although he never goes to the gym and all that jazz.

But anyway, I'm being sidetracked. What should I do? Become Cinderella or stay Gabrielle. Both are interesting, one has money, the other chores... hey there Gabrielle! Long time no see, love ya, please don't be angry! I will stay I will stay! I won't give up on us, even if the... Okay maybe I can't sing but you get the picture. Right. Right?

End for now...

I could comment on the absolute awesomeness of gabsy but no. I think the shittiness is kinda obvious but yeah, sleep. Night ma friend, I'll miss ya babe! Honest, everyone like totes talks like dis these days mae (mate but not!) Yar I'll see ya mae.

Friday 27th September

I am so sorry for yesterday, Diary. I have honestly no clue how I wrote stuff like that... Today's entry is more of an update on life, and the fact that tree girl was back at my tree - did I ever find out her name? I should ask. But yeah. I'm incredibly tired after yesterday; do you realise just how hard it is to sleep outside, with no warmth, in September? Oh, in England too. Don't forget that. But don't worry, my dear diary. We sure have an interesting weekend ahead of us! *Grins evilly*