Rants, Tags and Random Ramblings

Change

This week, two huge things have happened in my life, one I'm in a way glad of, the other I'm not so thrilled about. But, they both mean change.

Change is hard. Even if it's for the best, it's difficult to process.

Today, I have finally dropped somebody; somebody who I've known for fourteen long years. But, sometimes, people are just not the right people for you to hang around, and they end up intoxicating your life. That's certainly the case for this individual. For quite a while, I've been finally recognising the side of her that I didn't want to notice. And today, it really surfaced. This person is a user, she has no spine to stick up for friends, she's so worried of being judged by others that she'll jeer people her peers view as weird or freakish. And today, I was left humiliated by these aspects of her character and how they prompt her to behave. Let's just say, I'm done with her, and saying that actually makes me feel as though a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I found myself quite unhappy and drained in her presence at at least now, I can start putting that behind me.

The thing I'm struggling to process is the fact, that in a month's time, my best friend will have relocated to a different country, permanently. She's no longer going to be in my every day life and that scares me. Having had a friend move away before, it is next to impossible to maintain long distance relationships as such. Most if the time, it causes you to drift apart until you eventually just fall out of contact. I have never, in my life, had as strong a connection or bond as I have had with this friend. She's my best friend and she means the world to me. And I never want to see that happen to our friendship. I love her to pieces and have no clue what I'm going to do, no longer having her so close by. My heart is breaking. I always knew, when we graduated, we'd end up going different paths. But I always imagined us at least being in the same country. I know I'll do my best to remain in contact, but things won't be the same. My life won't be the same.